(send me a word on retro and, if it's in the sd12 draft, i'll post the passage it's in) probably not the meaning of the word you were looking for, but it's what i have lol

He nods, unexpectedly pensive all of a sudden. “I mean, I knew I was about to move all the way over here, across the ocean, and I didn’t know anybody on the other end beyond the hiring manager I’d been in contact with. So, it was this sort of weird mix of dread and excitement, but sitting there with my sister, just watching the lake from so high up made it all sort of fade away for a little while, wind and cold be damned.”

George can still recall the way the fowl sent ripples out into the water, or how the cotoneaster bushes, dripping in clusters of berries, heaved and swayed in the wind. “So, I guess that’s, like, my existential crisis birthday. But it was still really nice, if that makes sense.”

The smile he’s met with is kinder than he had been expecting. Dream’s gaze is soft. ”Yeah, I get it.”

He can’t help but let the corners of his mouth pull up just slightly in response, eyes sheepishly avoiding his. It’s a hushed moment that he struggles to not assign significance to.