that's a tough one, anon, hah..

honestly, i feel kind of disappointed in myself after that latest fem!adashu fic i posted. despite getting a couple of very kind comments recently (that i plan to respond to, naturally), during the first week after sharing i ended up convincing myself that i made a fool out of myself with it.

'why' is what i keep asking myself. i don't think it has anything to do with the fic being niche: my previous work on another fandom got a whopping number of 2 likes and 0 comments but i'm pretty much satisfied with it regardless. (although, maybe it's because i was genuinely prepared for that?..) i do acknowledge 2 modest personal factors for this reaction, but i'd rather not share them here.

anyway, this confusing feeling of 'falling short' is exactly what i didn't want to happen with IL. it's why i paused it in the first place. bc despite enjoying the process of writing itself, after sharing i end up feeling like i 'write worse than before' or 'write soulless stuff'. maybe knowing that i used to be more passionate about the ship from the inside convinces me that the end result of my writing is objectively different now. maybe it actually is objectively different, lackluster and soulless, haha. idk...

but from the looks of it, my passion is what compensates for my perpetual lack of confidence when sharing stuff with others. when my passion somewhat dies down, i might rely on others' passion instead. but relying on it is always risky bc others' interest and time is never a given. and when there's no component 1 or 2, i end up in this "why did i even post it" state that i dislike.

ANYWAY, what i mean is, i actually did hope (note to self and other creators: never have any hopes when posting stuff online!!) to feel an impetus and enough motivation after sharing TF to get back to In Limbo. my job's more or less chill and i have zero wips at the moment, so it's a comfy time for some spike, too. but.. yeah, for some reason the fact of TF being out there just makes me feel like a "previously okayish writer still needlessly trying to share stuff that sucks". and right now i feel too ashamed to even contemplate contributing to the tag, heh. but who knows what future holds.

thanks a LOT for the kind words of support and sorry for whining so much in this answer! i hope to someday write something that i'll be more or less comfortable sharing and that'd interest my previous adashu connoisseurs as well~