hi and no worries - not bothersome at all! i do feel awkward for putting it on hold but it's more of a bittersweet than uncomfortable topic for me :'>

i do feel more inclined to work on longer works right now and a few days ago i finally got my arc4 draft out of the chapter-planning stalemate it's been in for half a year or so. i even transferred the local doc online for the comfort of drafting from my phone, which i've been doing when writing the latest shorter orv/umi fics and that one very hazukashii kannao one-shot. but when it comes to actually putting words down for ER adashu, i do sense some sort of a wall blocking me somehow and am being pulled toward other ideas that feel more in tune with my current mindset.

i'm not sure if it's me being rusty with the fandom's characters after this long. me thinking that it's a story that needs an open ending after all. or me feeling disconnected from the message aka the hope & belief in love as an unstoppable force that can overcome any barriers. i can't say i've become fully cynical toward romance but my dumb brain's initial reaction to any written line on mutual & comfy established relationship is "what the hell is that? that would never happen, lol". and as dumb as it is, i'm the type of person who needs to believe in what i write - anyone reading will notice if i don't bc the process of writing won't be fun and pleasurable for me.

tldr: arc4 draft does exist and it's more of a 'wip' than 'haven't even started yet'. but while people out there are fighting for and against 'fiction affects reality', i'm pathetically facing the fact that reality affects fiction, haha :'> i do want to think that it's a passing phase though and i'll pull through somehow (i was in a similar state after writing RtD and putting IL draft on pause for a ~year bc of personal drama). but i don't want to force things bc i want to enjoy the process of writing this story's end - hence making it more enjoyable to read it for the few people (that would still maybe be interested to read it, haha).

thank you so much for letting me know that there actually are people who still want to read the ending! i hope that once i recover the bits of hope and ideals i used to hold on to i'll be back on track :>