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I like spending time in my secret lab where I bring my truly deplorable brainrots into written format. Hella fun.
Profile pic by Jin_amberx on Twitter
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💗 🎉 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 🎉 💗
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY ♡♡
How do you feel about the romanticization of mental illness in media? Do you think consuming or supporting tragic-yet-beautiful art is immoral?
I wouldn’t go so far as to say consuming or supporting it is immoral. And honestly, I feel that the “romanticization of mental illness” in media can be a little subjective. Someone else’s interpretation/writing of mental illness may be considered “romanticized” to one person, while to another person, it may not necessarily seem that way. As for me, I’ve never really felt that distressed with the various takes on mental illness, regardless of how they were portrayed, and I suppose this is one of those reasons.
Also, I don’t believe that the “romanticization” of something is inherently bad. Because when you strip the word down to its bones, it basically means creating a fun, fantastical version of something that’s more fun to engage with than how it is in reality. You may romanticize past friendships, for instance, choosing to hold only the positive parts of it close to you instead of dwelling on the bad parts. However, romanticization may obfuscate the full picture of something, causing the person engaging with it unable to develop a well rounded perspective.
Taking this further, people who are severely struggling with mental illness may react badly to reading/watching a poor representation of mental illness. (You might have heard of the controversial netflix show “13 Reasons Why,” and studies show that after its release, suicide rates among adolescents sky rocketed.) Honestly, I do think it’s good to point out the wrong doings this show did, because many people don’t know how to separate real mental illness from a “romanticized” version of it. And that factor can naturally siphon some problems, not regarding an author’s writing, but their “failure” to be “socially duty-bound.” In essence, it’s an issue regarding social activism rather than romanticization as a literary technique.
This indicates that we as a society should be educating people more on mental illnesses, reducing stigma, and bettering mental health care. Because at the end of the day, it’s fiction--authors should have a right to share their interpretations of the human experience in the way they wish. No one should be looking to a fictional story as guidance for what to do regarding their mental health. We are responsible for our own mental health and wellbeing. If a specific portrayal of mental illness upsets you in a piece of media, you should not engage with it any further.
I kinda rambled here, but I hope what I said makes sense ueueueuueueue. >.<
thoughts on mafuyu asahina?
😅 not many thoughts bc I’m not into project sekai, and the only reason I know who you’re talking about is because of one my mutuals really likes her. I will give you what I can though. I do think she’s quite a beauty :3 and from what I’ve read about her she does kind of remind me of Yu Narukami bc of the heavy expectations placed on her, and how much she seems to excel at her academics. And she heavily reminds me of the fem!Yu in my longfic because of how out of touch she is with her emotions, and how every time she feels one deeply, she chases it and wishes to understand it. So… I’d say I’d really like her! and perhaps I’d like her more if I was into project sekai. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more. >_<
Have you ever thought about writing a fic based on the Pygmalion and Galatea myth?
I had to take a trip down high school literature class memory lane for this one, hehe, but no, I haven’t considered writing fic for this myth, or other Greek myths for that matter. But I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it, particularly for Pygmalion and Galatea!
If I were to write one for them, perhaps I’d do a bit of a character study on pygmalion’s pov. As Galatea is his creation, she holds the exact same interests and opinions as him. As much as he’s so misogynistic and narcissistic that he could only fall in love with a statue who is a reflection of him, completely subservient to him, I wonder if as the years go on and the fantasy starts to chip away, little by little… he might find her a bit stale? Redundant? But he doesn’t want to encourage galatea, he wants to stay “safe” in this perfect relationship, because he’s too scared to admit reality—that deep down, he’d appreciate it if she held some agency and nuance. He’s an artist too, and he intrinsically, he wouldn’t mind a bit of creativity...
And by the end, when he’s on his death bed, he regrets his wish of turning her into a person. Not that his egotistical ass would ever say it though. He’d rather to continue to idolize her and the life they had together, and remain blinded by adoration. To stay delusional in a fantasy is often more comforting after all than facing reality after all. :P but did he ever achieve true happiness…? hmm… 🤔
(If galatea is a true reflection of him, then I also believe that deep down, she was curious of what it would be like to have a bit of agency. But as she is him, and he is her, she never mentions it. She adheres to the submissive, perfect role her husband expects her to have as his wife. Perhaps she’d have more to give him if they did break the barrier between fantasy and reality, but they will never know…)
Thank you for this question. It was fun to think about my own little idea for a hypothetical fic. Don’t know if I’ll ever put it on my docs, but this was certainly fun. :>
have you watched erased?
Yes, I have. Although it was many years ago, I still remember how much I enjoyed it. And if it wasn’t obvious enough, I am a YashiSato fan. 🫣 and I did read fic about them right after I watched erased. I mean, I can’t interpret Yashiro waiting so many years like that for Satoru as anything platonic LMAO, and Satoru being his reason for living too, UGH, so good and tasty. True gourmet.
Hey Maiden! Your writing style is incredibly fascinating to me :). I was wondering, what kinds of media have played a role in influencing your skills (besides fb)?
Hi anon, I’m so sorry for the late response. >_< I rarely get questions on here anymore so I don’t check it that often, haha. But thank you for this lovely surprise. 😮
Hmm… when it comes to the emotions/themes/motifs I write about, they often stem from media that I find relatable/empathetic/moving, and media that explores the human experience in such a deep manner. Fb, like you is mentioned, obviously one of them and means so much to me. Of course, Yu and Adachi’s dynamic has taught me so much about many things: what it truly means to be empathetic, the different facets of optimism and pessimism, and to never accept a schematic answer to a person’s actions. There’s always more to what meets the eye. I suppose any and all media that touches upon these themes are the ones I gravitate towards the most. :P
Also, reading has helped me develop my writing skill the most by far, haha. Although I don’t have much time to read recently, I’ve been reading Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and I find her style, particularly her similes/metaphors, quite fascinating to me. And I’ll admit that I’ve found inspiration and growth by reading fic writers who have styles that truly are (imo) publishing worthy. I also read their fics fandom-blind because of the constant “why?” they place in my head. Why am I attracted to their writing? What is it about this phrase/dialogue that evoked such a powerful reaction from me? How can I learn from this author’s prose? I often spend time analyze passages from published books/fics to answer these questions. My intellectual curiosity is my path to becoming a better writer, but of course, I still remember to have fun reading and immersing myself in creative works. :3 My style is always evolving and changing because it really is a “Frankenstein-esque” patchwork of all the media I’ve read about—I suppose that’s true for pretty much all writers though, because in order to grow, we gotta take inspo and feedback from many different sources, or else writing becomes rigid and stale.
I hope I was able to answer your question properly. I suppose I am a little out of practice with answering retrospring questions, haha. :,>
any t4t m/f couples you like? or even headcanons? doesn’t have to be persona.
Interesting question!! ☺️ Although, I don’t have too many of those, I do 100% headcanon Gomez and Morticia Addams as a peak t4t and bi4bi m/f couple. And the idea of Gomez swordfighting and doing backflips during his pregnancies always has me cracking up so hard. 🤣
And this isn’t necessarily a headcanon, but I like the idea of transfem yu x transmasc Adachi. And not t4t, but cis femyu x transmasc Adachi holds a special place in my heart, since I feel my own thoughts about my own gender/gender dysphoria reflect upon my interpretation abt their dynamic too.
doll x anathema is my favorite shoujo novel. …i mean that as a funny but big compliment because the shoujo vibes are so strong in your gorgeous writing and i’m such shoujo trash. this is what i secretly wanted in the femyu/adachi tag soooo bad. 😭😭😭
omg hehe, ofc that’s a compliment to me. ^-^ Thank you so much anon. I’m glad I could give you some much needed food for the femyu/Adachi tag. Truthfully, I’m actually shoujo trash too,
and the media that inspired a lot of my longfic is a shoujo manga/anime… hehe. Shoujos often emphasize age gap relationships too so femyu/Adachi was the perfect ship to fulfill my dark, angsty age-gap shoujo desires. :3
Doll X Anathema is scratching my long fic itch and it’s really really good to boot. Thank you thank you thank you!
was there a reason you didn’t genderbend sayoko in your longfic? just curious really, that’s all :P
Ngl at first I was confused as to why you asked this LMAO, but then I remembered something about how the devil arcana’s themes wouldn’t work with a femyu for p4, so I get it now! Interesting question, anon. 👍
I will say that I could definitely see some interesting differences with a male!Sayoko and femyu. Their relationship would sour rather quickly because of his unwanted, creepy advances towards her. Don’t think it could really be salvaged. The game would certainly portray it as something truly disgusting compared to… canon.
(It’s a double standard when the game treats Sayoko’s advances towards Yu as not as problematic because of “hot, sexy nurse” trope, and the fact that predatory behavior isn’t taken as seriously when it’s a woman doing it to a man. rolls eyes)
Anyway, I suppose one reason is I don’t particularly care for male genderbends. They can be fun to think about sometimes, but idk, not enough for me to write about them.😅 And I primarily just wanted to focus on 1 genderbend for this fic—femyu.
Another reason… I needed Sayoko to stay as a woman. Like, needed. Can you imagine Chapter 7 when Yui wakes up in the hospital after the incident and male!Sayoko—an adult man who’s been harassing her—is the one assigned to take care of her? O_o His presence would definitely trigger her trauma in some way. It’s… kinda fucked up to think about. And also the conversation with Hisano, Sayoko, Yui, and Eri in Samegawa wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting because male!Sayoko obviously wouldn’t be invited. Ladies only. LOL.
(Also, I’m not saying that canon Sayoko couldn’t be predatory towards femyu in this AU. But, eh, she’s… painfully cishet to me. I don’t sense even the tiniest bit of fruitiness from her.)
Anyway, canon Sayoko becomes much more tolerable in this AU as a big sister figure to Yui—someone who understands how horrible men can be. Honestly, she was the perfect character to segway into after the incident, and a male!Sayoko would just ruin that moment they had together in the hospital. I liked writing Sayoko and Yui’s relationship in dxa, which was so refreshing after how I, frankly, disliked her in canon. And I believe even without the male!genderbend to contrast canon with a femyu, Yui was able to bring out a different side of Sayoko that we don’t get to see in canon. Kinda similar to the Sayoko who talked about that little kid she had as her patient once, but a little more mature “big sis” vibes. So… the discrepancy between their relationship and the themes of the Devil arcana didn’t really matter for me lol.
Girl, girl, girl if you have any female frollo/esmeralda thoughts for the crowd please share.
Sure. I was actually thinking about them a little more. :) And to preface, I decided that fem!Frollo—or I guess in this case, Claudia Frollo—would be a woman disguised as a man so she can keep her job as the judge. Also, I just think it would be more interesting that way with the whole “women are inherently sinful” mindset in 15th century Europe causing some internalized misogyny. And her job as a judge being one of the only sources of power/authority she’s ever possessed as a woman—who I think probably had a very rough early life—driving that need for self preservation too through her, uh, “acts of holiness.”
I do think a lot of elements would stay the same: it’s largely one-sided, and Esmeralda still hates her for persecuting her people. And the ending… there’s no changing that. BUT I do think that while Esmeralda absolutely loathes her, she does feel somewhat sympathetic for Frollo. In a way, Frollo’s homosexuality does make her an outcast in “the eyes of God” according to the church (referencing Esmeralda’s song “God Help The Outcasts” here), similar to Esmeralda and her people. I think bi or lesbian Esmeralda here would be good too so the sympathy really hits harder. I’m assuming the Romani people back then weren’t that accepting of homosexuality either… I mean who was at the time? Esmeralda still loves her people, regardless of their views, further emphasizing how selfless she really is. On the other hand, this twisted connection/empathy she feels to Frollo is something she abhors… but also something that makes her feel a tad less alone. But because of who Frollo is, it just makes the situation even more tragic, hence… it was always gonna be one-sided.
(Also if you’re wondering how Esmeralda figures out Frollo is a woman… I was sort of thinking about that scene in the church when Frollo comes up behind her, holds her tightly, and smells her hair. She presses herself against Esmeralda a little too hard on accident and… yeah LMAO. I headcanon a flat af chest for fem!Frollo, and those big robes she wears makes it impossible for anyone to see anything, but in this case, she’s not flat enough for Esmeralda to not notice.)
Anyway, I think fem!Frollo, while morally reprehensible just like canon Frollo, becomes a lot more of a tragic antagonist as a woman. I do have a few fic scenes in mind, some dark and rated. 😅 I hope I can get to this someday because their dynamic is so fascinating and largely unexplored. I’ve always been a secret nerd for 15-16th century Europe stuff, so the setting is right up my alley too. Don’t think 13 year old me was ready to tackle this complex of a dynamic. And tbh, I’m still intimated by it because I want to do it justice, so when I’m ready… I’ll do it.
do you have a preference for a kind of ship dynamic? (m/f, f/f, or m/m i mean?)
I suppose the most barebones, straightforward answer for me is… I don’t really have a preference? If a ship has a chemistry I like, then I’m all for it regardless of the gender. BUT I will say this was a little hard to answer because I have different answers for what I write vs what I prefer to read, oddly enough. 😅
I’ve noticed that when it comes to writing, i really like writing m/f and f/f. I guess… because it’s fun to write women in my shipping content? XD But on a more serious note, I believe the correlation here is that there isn’t a lot of canonical m/f and f/f ships that cater to my tastes, nor is there a whole lot of female characters compared to men in media that I dig. I suppose that’s where a lot of the love for genderbending comes from since I can make ships that I like. But ofc, taking a canonical m/f or f/f ship that I believe has untapped potential, and writing it in a way that is spicy enough for me is great too!
However, when it comes to reading, 80% it’s m/m. Fujoshi moment lol. A lot of good m/m ships to choose from, and the sheer amount of great m/m content on ao3 proves that. On the other hand, I’m picky when it comes to reading m/f nowadays. If the straight vibes are too strong, I have to nope out of there so fast, I’m afraid. :,> Mentally ill and/or queer m/f is where it’s at for me. 👌 On other hand there’s not a lot of f/f (focused) fic out there in general, so I naturally never run into it as much. And I’m only now realizing… just how rarely I ran into f/f fic in all my years. Wow. I’d like to read more f/f though! :)
So while I don’t have a preference, generally, I’d say the chance of a m/m ship having chemistry that I like from the get-go is higher than that of m/f and f/f.
what are some of your favorite shuadashu fanarts??? links pls? 🙏
Ahh there’s so many to choose from, but I’ll include my top picks from Twitter. I’ll also include a lot of genderbend shuadashu if you don’t mind teehee. I’ll be including some of my friends bc I love them so much, but I’ll also include other artists too. ^-^
@RiYuiQin535 — Favorite artist for shuadashu angst, especially for showcasing Adachi’s depression and emptiness. Their art and the emotions channeled into it reminds me of “The End of the World” shuada doujin a little bit.
Symbolism with the police tape and yu breaking through it to reach Adachi is wonderful.
https://twitter.com/riyuiqin535/status/1519353448680017922?s=46&t=0di5T0fEuPLcHGiyYiIDVw
//TW — self-harm. Just YES with this one. They are suffering and I need them to suffer more please.
https://twitter.com/riyuiqin535/status/1553779795242221568?s=46&t=WHPzw-D--IbdRw_X44NGbA
Shuada with cute 14 yr old Adachi sleeping on Yu’s shoulder. The coloring is so delicate, especially on Yu’s hair. Love it. 💕
https://twitter.com/riyuiqin535/status/1540033119281348608?s=46&t=_wZeiJ-EIzGox05ENL6ajA
@Magaruladyne — You never know what this person will post next because she is a wild spirit (in a good way). She has a very cute unique, artstyle too which I adore. ♥️
Fem shuada — Toko showing affection to Yui with a kiss to the cheek. So good. 👌
https://twitter.com/magaruladyne/status/1564816356985430018?s=46&t=MOkTCm9AtPTBPJt3fO_ogA
Yu and drunk Adachi. Her chibi Adachi is one of the best I’ve seen and makes me smile every time.
https://twitter.com/magaruladyne/status/1572776005286383616?s=46&t=MOkTCm9AtPTBPJt3fO_ogA
Shuada Femyu/Adachi with Adachi on a leash. Perfect understanding of their dynamic and lovely portrayal of femyu dominating this pathetic man.👌
https://twitter.com/magaruladyne/status/1556472374949658624?s=46&t=6O2XsdRE1gzY_BBudPJ4VQ
@trogIodyke — The glorious genderbend connoisseur themself. Their fem shuadashu art is peak, and you can sense from their art how much passion they have for this dynamic.
Fem shuadashu cat fight. My favorite piece of theirs so far. I find myself coming back to it often. The coloring is so wonderful, and their expressions are so telling.
https://twitter.com/trogiodyke/status/1610502554991099906?s=46&t=6O2XsdRE1gzY_BBudPJ4VQ
Fem shuada kabedon. Yui’s expression isn’t like… super outwardly fervent, but you can sense the fire inside. And we all know Touko is 😳 inside as well.
https://twitter.com/trogiodyke/status/1566629850060038145?s=46&t=mec2r75LZeEjVG52V4aCXw
Fem shuada featuring Touko using Yui’s boobs as a pillow after a hard day at work. This one deserves way more attention. 🤭
https://twitter.com/trogiodyke/status/1513297728201056260?s=46&t=gaEewXuVNmNoDHYJH-HXwQ
@Iroko-x — Their coloring is so beautiful. They seem to have only done one shuada piece but it kicks ass. Love the tension between yu and Adachi in this piece…. and yu reaching for Adachi’s waist and them falling together amidst the TVs. It makes me insane HAHA.
https://twitter.com/iroko_x/status/1603738899968561152?s=46&t=mec2r75LZeEjVG52V4aCXw
@TEdtY33 — So much good genderbend art from them. They seem to have strong taste for yu/femdachi too, which is rare. We stan the niche artists here.
Yu/femdachi. Love femdachi’s dress and Yu’s suit. Such a classy couple.
https://twitter.com/tedty33/status/1501599256007692289?s=46&t=d84PBJkJgZ-IYejHNB3IEw
Yu and Adachi dancing with each other’s Personas, or rather, their true selves. Romantic af.
https://twitter.com/tedty33/status/1463260694808203264?s=46&t=d84PBJkJgZ-IYejHNB3IEw
Fem shuadashu. Love femdachi’s pose in this one and her irritated facial expression. Femyu is gorgeous as well and the song lyrics are perfect.
https://twitter.com/tedty33/status/1403034572992831488?s=46&t=d84PBJkJgZ-IYejHNB3IEw
@mnjro — They haven’t posted shuadashu in years and I remember one day I scrolled all the way back in their media tab and found a treasure trove, ending up retweeting a lot of it. 😂
Yu being touchy and a bit of a troll with Adachi and Adachi getting annoyed.
https://twitter.com/mnjro/status/844556331772080129?s=46&t=d84PBJkJgZ-IYejHNB3IEw
Adachi looking badass (for once) and throws his raincoat away like he’s about to get into a fight. Yu is thirsty for Adachi’s raincoat.
https://twitter.com/mnjro/status/864521779536056320?s=46&t=d84PBJkJgZ-IYejHNB3IEw
//TW a little blood. Don’t know if this artist meant for it to be adashu ship art, but it makes me insane. So dark and gorgeous. Kinda gives me hannibal vibes.
https://twitter.com/peachymints/status/1141200876268208128?s=46&t=gaEewXuVNmNoDHYJH-HXwQ
@ersykee — if you haven’t seen this person’s iconic take on Yu… oh my, you are missing out.
Shuada roleswap with no personas where yu is the murderer. Adachi gets caught in his web hehe 😈
https://twitter.com/erskyee/status/1517080406578786304?s=46&t=a86WygPrepH-A-2qLFVOAw
@Yuki_nitta3 —one of the biggest fans of shuadashu (imo) in the Japanese fandom. Always has stunning work filled with such love for the ship.
Shuadashu marriage and hug. 💍Makes my heart race every time. ♥️
https://twitter.com/yuki_nitta3/status/1482354264098078721?s=46&t=a86WygPrepH-A-2qLFVOAw
@xing_20 — Shadow Yu and Shadow Adachi. The one below… it sends me into max deranged state. I feel the intense urge to retweet it every few months because them being entangled with each other like that makes me rabid.
https://twitter.com/xing_20/status/1443054753110396932?s=46&t=a86WygPrepH-A-2qLFVOAw
I’d link more… but this is getting long. Thank you for asking.
was there any other significance in choosing those flowers in your recent fic besides them being popular for weddings? just curious, i wasn’t expecting those to be chosen at all, so it was a nice surprise!
Don’t know why I feel a lil embarrassed about answering this haha, but yeah actually, there is. The person I wrote it for really likes those flowers! They mentioned them in a retrospring ask months ago where someone asked what their favorite flowers were. They mentioned many kinds of flowers so it took a while for me to choose, but I was dead set on purple from the start since they liked that color for flowers the most. Eventually, I settled on peonies because of the wedding significance and the fact that they look very pretty as a bouquet. I’m sure people were expecting for me to choose yellow flowers bc p4 protag = yellow but I wanted to try something different along with catering to the gift receiver’s likes. (´ ∀ ` *)
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