Nikolai sees a rat next to a pigeon on street, takes a pic and sends it to Fyodor with caption "us 💕🕊🐀" - sappy as hell. He ties someone to dozen balloons, makes them float in the air and informs Fyodor of his mischief. He sees a coat he thinks Fyodor would love and text him "look what I snatched for you ;3" along with a pic of the stolen coat.

Texts never stop. Fyodor hardly ever responds but that doesn't deter Nikolai anyhow. One sided convo goes on for a while before Fyodor blocks his number to tease back. Fyolai's messed up flirting. Give it two hours and Nikolai is bursting into Fyodor's lair lamenting how heartless he is and demanding number is unblocked. Of course none of that happens. Nikolai threatens to flood all equipment in sight. Fyodor begrudgingly gives in. Clown rejoices.

Much to Nikolai's dismay Fyodor has dozen Nokia phones so his spam goes mostly unnoticed. Much to Fyodor's dismay once Nikolai notices he's unnoticed he starts sending pigeon carriers - surely Fyodor can't ignore /that/.

List of embarrassments from that night:

• Fyodor got tipsy from one glass. He tried to stand up too quickly, wobbled and fell into Nikolai's lap. That's how foreplay started. By foreplay I mean bottling up, sappy flirting and making out/petting in between the shots

• They're both blabbering nonsense. At one point Fyodor got super cuddly. He giggled and told Nikolai that if he were couple centuries younger and still capable of love he would have loved him silly that he is. As if that weren't bad enough Fyodor admitted to finding Nikolai's jests funny deep down

• Tipsy Nikolai got the idea of using empty bottle as a sex toy. It nearly got stuck

• After hours of drinking Nikolai got hammered too. Coordination went to shit. He lifted Fyodor and tried to carry him to the bed but they fell down, thrice

• It took him 5 minutes to locate Fyodor's hole (he kept shoving into sheets). Then it took him 30 minutes to get Fyodor to finish, that's how bad he was

• They both need to piss every 15 mins. Unsexiest sex ever

• Oral ended in accidental biting

• Nikolai rammed that deep in Fyodor got sick and began gagging. He barely made it to the bathroom. They made a mistake of kissing afterwards and nearly puked again

• Room was spinning too much, Fyodor couldn't lay down any longer. He insisted on riding. Unfortunately Fyodor's coordination also went to hell so whenever he bounced too high he didn't navigate down quite well. He regularly ended up hitting tip of Nikolai's dick with his bony hips. It hurt like hell

• At one point Fyodor wanted to top. Sure, go ahead. He couldn't find the hole either. Fyodor spent 15 mins thrusting between Nikolai's thick ass cheeks and thighs

• Fyodor ended up cumming every 10 mins. He was drained, thus drank more. Nikolai couldn't cum at all. He broke the bed frame out of frustration. Also drank to cope. He eventually came a whole bucket and fainted. Fyodor slapped him awake. He wanted more.

• Nikolai got emotional afterwards. He blabbed his entire life story, all his woes and conundrums. They were all sticky and sweaty but that didn't stop Nikolai from being over the top clingy. He even teared up at one point

Much to their dismay they both remembered everything the morning after (or should I say afternoon after). Without saying a word they dressed up and parted. Unspoken agreement is to pretend that night has never happened

After they're done Nikolai collapses over Fyodor and refuses to move; doesn't even pull out at first. Nikolai embraces him as stiffly as possible, nuzzles into neck, places kisses everywhere and showers with affection - that he knows disclose alarmingly much. Post-orgasmic bliss sedates, for a little bit Nikolai can ignore conflict inside mind and pursue heart's innermost wishes. He hates acting like this but it can't be helped. Just a little bit, Nikolai thinks.

Fyodor is peeved for variety of reasons. First thing first, Nikolai is heavy. They're too sticky, he's too uncomfortable. He just wants to sleep. Or take a shower. Definitely not lay over sweaty sheets and be crushed by Nikolai who's clearly not petting him because he wants another round. These affections void of ulterior motive are just... too much.

He groans if Nikolai can move but futile. Nikolai acts like he didn't even register him. Fyodor being Fyodor quickly puzzles him out. Now that he knows it's all authentic he finds Nikolai's clinginess cute - and exploitable. He returns some of affections. Nikolai makes an inhuman sound and squeezes Fyodor so tight in a heat of a moment he almost crushes his ribcage.

Oh my god don't let Nikolai go there he'll get even crazier 😭😭😭

Jokes aside that's really hard to tell because there are 10+ countries on the Balkan peninsula, it's a multicultural region with variety of traditions and customs. Ukraine borders with a balkan country but there aren't that many cultural similarities, as far as I know. On the flipside it still is eastern Europe so he'd probably adjust pretty quick.

Maybe not so much of a tradition but Balkan people love to hang out and party a lot. They'd celebrate anything and everything. Performer in Nikolai would love that jovial spirit. I can easily imagine him on a traditional balkan wedding, that's quite a spectacle he would enjoy for all 24h it lasts

My guess is that's miscommunication for the most part? At least I hope so, because that'd be plain bad writing. I think what people actually mean is "I don't want them to have a cliche tragic backstory" - and there's the catch. Good writer should know how to reveal villain's background and motives without making it seem like "an excuse", but "an explanation". Not to mention, avoid cliches.

As I said before, I believe a middle ground is the best way to handle villain such as Nikolai. He's different from Port Mafia who do bad for sake of the city and retain a codex, Fitzgerald who did it for his family, Fukuchi who did it for misguided world peace - to hell, he's different even from Fyodor who's supposedly doing all that evil for the greater good. On the face of it Nikolai has no motives, thus "pure evil".

But that's oversimplification. Nikolai's reasoning is far more abstract - and absurd. No 'normal' human views life that way, it takes time for vision to distort that much. However he never needed anything "traumatic" to happen in order to come up with an elaborate self-destructive philosophy, at least not in conventional terms of "traumatic". It can be a set of circumstances over lengthy period of time where no event on its own is "radicalizing" enough but when put together resulted in Nikolai feeling trapped in own skull and wishing to escape himself.

Nikolai claims he's obsessed with freedom but in reality he's obsessed with controlling himself. Meaning he must have felt life is out of his control at some point, and likely still does. Can be due to circumstances, but also due to loneliness or his mind (allegory for mental illness). On one hand you have his need for independence and fear of vulnerability/closeness. On the other innate instinct for connection; emotions and loneliness he must feel as part of being human. Ultimately he's at the war with himself. How he ended up with such a mess in head is up in the air, but I don't think a singular event is responsible. It's a gradual decay.

I doubt we'll ever get any significant information on his background. Maybe bit here or there but nothing sufficient to build the whole picture. That's for two reasons. From practical viewpoint it'll be a waste. Save for Fyodor and Sigma (whom he met recently) Nikolai has no ties to any other character. Logically we will never get a novel on a character like Nikolai because, save for him, everything would have to be made from a scratch - new characters, setting, motifs connecting to the main story etc.

From thematical viewpoint Nikolai's character profits on being enshrouded in mystery. Take your average horror movie for an instance - suspense and mystery add greatly to the perception of danger. Once veil is pulled effect is lost. Nikolai is a character you're never meant to understand fully - because he doesn't understand himself fully. He's supposed to be confusing and contradicting. He's a jester who not only fools the audience but himself as well. Line between authenticity and charade being blurred is the entire point.

As for Fyodor, I'm sure his background will be revealed in time (maybe with a novel). However I doubt we will ever get to know everything. In reality we'll likely be revealed enough to get a gist of his motives and what shaped them. I think it's safe to say he's the byproduct of time and good old "path to the hell is paved in good intentions". Fyodor may have had machiavellian inclinations from the start but passage of time honed him into 'a demon' we see now.

Conflict of views will always exist. Spark is always there. It's on fandom's maturity if it'll turn into drama. Unfortunately that's the test this fandom fails too often.

People are too reactory, and I blame it on general toxicity of social media. If you dive in with "I'll be pissed off" mindset then something is bound to piss you off - something that's likely innocuous. Alarming amount of people lacks that mental brake to pull, step back and do the mental check work "is this really worth getting worked up over?" - in 95% of times answer is no.

"If you do xyz, which I deem is a red line, I'll start treating you with 0 human decency" - how is that mindset any better than a high school bully? It upsets me when I see what people are getting harrassed over. It's plain absurd. For all its proclaims of progressivism this fandom acts deeply conservative. I honestly want to believe it's just a very loud and annoying minority that unfortunately snatches the spotlight and not vast majority.

Thanks 🩷🩷 I wish you happy new eve and holidays too anon. I won't delete Twitter, just aim to use it less. Whenever I open tl it's some negativity or posts that make me roll eyes. It became a pattern that does nothing but stresses me out, thus I think it's the best I cut Twitter short. Especially now that I'm shadowbanned for some reason. I've seen some other moots are too so I suppose it's Twitter being Twitter.

Overall I don't think I'm cut for the today's fandoms. I avoided social media all my life because I dislike it. I joined around 2022 just because I wanted to talk about characters and ships somewhere. Considering I didn't grow up 'online' most of humor, trendy things and general mindsets of the vast majority are absolutely lost on me. It makes me feel like fish out of the water. Me still being here is a living testament to how much I actually love bsd. I love blabbering about it.

I can go miles about collective agressive bully 'reading in worst faith' mindset but I believe I don't need to. We all know that. That's not just bsdtwt thing but Twitter thing in general. So let's focus on fandom more.

I more often find myself disagreeing with fandom's portray of characters/ships than not. I'm not here to police anyone's perceptions, neither can nor should, but it still puzzles me when some blatant OOC-ness or jokes/ideas on levels of middle schoolers get massive attention. For example these days I've stumbled upon a complex and accurate descriptions of one character - from an acc with 50 followers. And then you have 1k+ accs making the worst oversimplifications and blatant OOC takes and receiving 1k+ likes - on something that's plainly incorrect.

Don't get me wrong. Likes aren't the point. Followers ain't either. General opinion of fandom and spreading of mischaracterization are. We can argue until tomorrow whether latter can be strictly defined, and I'd dare state none of us are above 'mischaracterization' entirely. There's nothing inherently 'wrong' with that. It's the hivemind-ness of social media that bothers me. That blind compliance. You're constantly one step away from being dragged for most mundane things just because people can't handle conflict of opinions - on stuff that, in grander scope of things, are painfully innocuous. That's reflection of maturity, or rather immaturity. There's zero social awareness, zero social skills and basic decency - social media eroded that in people.

Circumstances at my place are such that I've been more involved with local community these months. When you spend hours talking about serious issues with people offline and the log in and see someone being called names over HCs and pixels it really puts into perspective how unimportant that all is. Friend once said engaging into those discourses and dramas is counterproductive, analogous to arguing with a right winger - not only because you can never win against someone who refuses to see reason and compromise, but because it mentally wears you down. Participation means enabling, thence it's the best to step away altogether. I agree with that.

All in all, I'm a writter (and an analyst from time to time), getting a big following wasn't my goal. I have no clue how I got to 1.2k with 0 efforts to be an influencer, but if it's due to my writing, ramblings and ideas then I'm grateful. Because that's what I initially meant to use Twitter for and still will.