the abuse that falls under narc abuse is real, but the term itself is god awful at describing them properly, and gives unnecessary ties that abusers are "narcissists". and the thing about doing that is people use it to dehumanize abusers, as if abusers aren't people too and that their actions can't be replicated by someone else who "isn't a narcissist". anyone can be an abuser, not because of a specific trait they have.

it also unfortunately makes more ties that people with diagnosed narcissism, or pwNPD, are inherently abusive. i've seen people go "oh, i don't think pwNPD are abusive, but the term is hel-" no!!! there are so many people that believe so and use the term because of so!! just because you don't believe it means that you automatically get a pass!

tl;dr not a helpful term and people should stop using it altogether.