i really don't know what it is. i guess in the way i became accustomed to using it, twitter often acted as a tool with which to enforce self-hatred. overall, i'm not a very confident person, and in recent years, i have become intensely reliant on external praise to prop up my self-image wherever it was lacking. i was like no face from spirited away, but with praise. like, the more i was praised, the more i craved, and the more i craved, the more i sought it out, and it never seemed to be enough, you know? because if i'm not being told that i'm good enough, then i must be bad, and if i'm bad, then it confirms what i knew to be true all along, right? (i'm insane) and that intense desire to be adored by a constant, never-ending stream of new faces is obviously not healthy or normal. so i think ultimately i knew there would come a time when i needed to step away and ground myself in reality and leave those feelings of unworthiness and resentment and self-consciousness behind and just watch some anime, read some books, and get back to basics, if that makes sense. maybe i will be back someday, i dont know. but thanks for checking in. it really does mean a lot to me, and i hope you take care! wishing you well.