(yes and no! i’m sort of..kind of…taking this concept and bending it to my whims lol, anyways here’s a small fill~ 💓

tags: roommates, implied teen sex, vague insinuations of religious guilt, vaguely period setting (80s/90s), etc.)

Ostensibly, Till’s father enrolls him in an all-boy’s boarding school to quote-unquote ‘straighten him out.’

There’s nothing to straighten out, so far as Till is concerned, except, perhaps, his abysmal academic record. Choir is available as an elective. With the destruction of his instruments fresh in his mind—hard-won pieces of equipment that Till worked his ass off to acquire—it’s the closest thing he has to an outlet in this school full of prissy, know-it-all brats.

Till’s skin feels itchy from the moment he steps into the principal’s office, listening to such-and-such drone on about the amazing things they’ve managed to accomplish with boys like Till at Anakt Catholic Preparatory College. He promises that Till’s dormmate will be a positive influence, that Urak will have a young man fit for modern society by the time they’re through with him.

Gag.

They force him to remove his piercings. There are no record players in sight. An imposed curfew is upheld. This place might as well be a prison, he thinks.

It takes an hour for various boys to file in. Apparently, they gather for meals at six in the morning, twelve in the afternoon, and six in the evening, light snacks permitted only if the specific professor allowed it.

Ivan introduces himself with a slick smile. Politely, he goes over the running rules. “You’ll be shadowing me starting tomorrow. I do hope we’ll get along.”

“Not a fat chance in hell.”

The response makes Ivan laugh.

Till wishes Ivan’s perfectly symmetrical face weren’t quite so punchable. He’s not going to get himself put in detention on his first day.

//

The problem with Ivan is that he’s a little too perfect.

Perfect grades, perfect demeanor. He memorized his bible verses, harmonizing with the other boys flawlessly. Something is deeply, fundamentally wrong with him. Till is convinced.

He has nothing better to do than indulge in idle gossip. He keeps the holes in his ears open with safety pins, wincing as he draws blood and it scabs. Curled up in the dirt in a corner of the school rarely traversed, he hears the first whispers of a rumor about Ivan that has his pupils blown wide.

“They say he’ll sleep with anyone who asks.” The words are uttered with a swoon. Excitement. “Do you think I have a chance?”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” the second boy says, aiming for realism. “You can’t believe everything you hear.”

It’s a salient point and Till knows it. He also knows, as a teenager who skipped school more often than not before he was chucked into this pit, that rumors like this do not emerge out of thin air. Well-meaning or no, someone had seen Ivan’s deep, dark gaze, had been mesmerized by it, fantasizing about the potential written there.

Praying to god by day and sucking dick by night—this is exactly the sort of dirt Till has wanted on Ivan from the get-go.

//

Wanting to catch Ivan in the act is all well and good, but the truth is, if he’s up to anything, Till has no idea when he finds the time to be nefarious. His schedule is ridiculously packed.

Tutoring other students, confiscating magazines during monthly sweeps, assignments, equestrian practice. By all accounts, he is a model student.

In the end, Till decides that the easiest way to get the answers he seeks is to ask. Simple solutions are underrated.

He gets Ivan alone on the premise of needing help with homework. Till does need help, after all, and Ivan is excellent at explaining the material even if he does spend a fair bit of time lobbing backhanded compliments at his peers.

Till blurts out the question no-nonsense. “Are you gay?”

Ivan smirks. “Ah. I was wondering what had you so fidgety these days. I should have known.”

Beneath the table, Till kicks him. “M’not gonna rat you out, if you are.”

“No, of course not. You just want to use this information for private blackmail purposes. I’m too obedient to be trustworthy, in your book, and thus you would like something to lord over me. Did I miss anything?”

Till shudders. “You scare me.”

“Thank you.”

“Wasn’t a compliment.”

For a few minutes, Ivan allows him to pretend the conversation never happened. Till’s self-preservation instincts have always been somewhat lackluster. Thus, he can’t stop himself from putting his foot into his mouth. “Must be nice,” Till mumbles. Sexual intimacy had to be more compelling than Chemistry formulas.

“Are you interested?”

“Hm?”

“In finding out if there’s any truth to the rumors.”

Till swallows. “No,” he lies.

“I see,” says Ivan.

//

For days, Till tosses and turns. Long lashes haunt his dreams, accompanied by full lips. He sings his hymns with above-average fervency. He has never been religious, never believed in god, but he would very much appreciate a higher power purifying his mind, purging it of unwanted spectres.

Low chortles and haughty expressions—go away. Leave me alone. At this point, it feels like a curse.

“One time,” Till says, slamming his foot into Ivan’s desk, “and we’ll never speak of this again.”

Ivan puts his pen down with a gleam in his eye. “As you like.”

Till can’t help thinking that the rumors undersold Ivan’s skills.

//

One time becomes a dozen times.

Ivan is akin to sin itself, given form in the body of a man. He whispers temptation as he dangles the fruit of knowledge in front of Till’s face, showing up bright eyed and bushy tailed every Sunday like he didn’t spend all of Saturday night blaspheming against everything the preacher tells them not to do.

He is the quietest force of nature Till has ever encountered. In many ways, he thinks Ivan is worse than he is. Till, at least, is comfortable in the knowledge that this is temporary. That he will leave this place and break free of his father’s controlling shackles and be his own man someday.

What does Ivan have? An outstanding record. Connections. Money. A family business to inherit.

Happiness, however? Till isn’t so sure his path includes this.

“It isn’t as if you can marry a man,” Till mumbles.

“I’ve made my peace with that.”

In this sense, Till envies him. Ivan knows who he is. Who he wants to be. Even if Till wanted to use this against Ivan, at the risk of pointing the sword at himself in kind—and he doesn’t want to, not anymore—he feels certain Ivan would find some way to emerge unscathed. To twist it and use what should have been a stain on his record to his advantage.

“You might be a vicious bastard, but I’ll miss you,” Till confesses.

Ivan chortles. “Let’s stay in touch, then.”

It’s easier said than done. There is the process of exchanging addresses and landlines. Tracking each other down as they move across the country.

Still, they’re willing to try.

If this is to be their dirty little secret until the end of time, so be it.

///

(a/n: as i was writing this, i thought it would be fun to imagine post school aftermath. till got engaged at some point but it fell through; he called it off at the last second. ivan lives up to his family’s expectations and gets married and has kids but he’s bored as hell and the divorce is messy to boot.

(waves hand) they wind up together again somehow after the dust settles. feel like they wasted a lot of time. but hey. ivan retires early and spoils till with his money. ivan’s kids think he’s way more fun around till than he ever was with their mom lol.

thanks for the prompt!!)