to be honest, i don't think it's as easy as simply figuring out whether or not someone is abusive. a lot of abuse happens from well meaning people who have good intentions-- this still makes it abuse. but this doesn't necessarily make you "an abuser" or even a bad person. but i will say that guilt rarely does anything for the hurt party except maybe vindicate them to some degree, but i do not think this is the ideal way to live. you should look forward, do better, and move on if you can, and let the lesson be something you remember, but do not let it drag you down and make you stagnate. you still have the capacity to help others and love them right, so don't take that opportunity away from yourself or them.