Anonymous Friend · 1y

Do your friends like you the way you are?

What a great question, random question generator! The quick answer would be: Of course! Real friends like you the way you are, for who you are. If you don't like me the way I am, if you think I have some kind of tragic character flaw and you're trying to save me from myself and help me see the light, then are you really my friend, or am I your project? It doesn't matter if the "salvation" is rooted in religious belief or social criticism. The older I get, the more convinced I've become that any judgment of another is rooted in something that needs to be addressed in the self and not the other.

Going a little deeper: can anyone truly even know the way you are? If you know me, what you actually know is a perception of me. You know me in relationship to you. How I present myself, how much I let my guard down, what I disclose about myself to you, which one of me is actually fronting at the time, and all the assumptions and inferences made based on your own background and history, means that the me you know can't really and truly be the me as I am.

That said, your own experience of my presence and spirit, and my experience of yours, can transcend the boundaries of material and social perception. You may know that being in my presence (or conversing with me online) makes you feel a certain way, that there's a chemistry there (that doesn't have to be romantic or sexual attraction), and you may feel a deep connection and sense of comradery with me. That sense of interconnection and oneness and mutual acceptance, that to me is real friendship.

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