Serious topics ahead

Hi, I want to address the recent rentry that has been circling around about me and some jokes I have made.
I do not condone this type of behavior in real life, I have already addressed a lot of these claims in my own server, and I have owner up to it and apologized, numerous times. Here is my original statement: https://files.catbox.moe/96m5ea.webp , https://files.catbox.moe/k2crh2.webp , https://files.catbox.moe/glt0ks.webp . In no way did I try to excuse anything with.. anything, I took accountability and apologized for everything and I am currently in the process of apologizing to people involved. This situation was something that was not brought to my attention until now, I had no way of knowing anyone involved was uncomfortable until now. No one spoke up until now. These jokes were sent in a private groupchat with me and 7 other people i considered close to me. These jokes were still wrong and quite frankly disgusting and I will not downplay that. I am working on changing as a person, and I will be taking a break for a long time, considering this has done horrid things to my mental health. I understand what I did was wrong, I am learning and actively changing, it's unfair to me how people who weren't even involved can say they don't care if I'm trying to change because apparently my actions are irredeemable. I did not harm any children, I have never spoken to a minor towards a minor in any sexual way, unless we were 1, close in age and 2, close in general. I make sexual jokes towards my friends, I jokingly flirt with a lot of my friends, a lot of people do, but as soon as they expressed discomfort in any way I have stopped and encouraged others to do the same. So to say the people involved were scared to speak up to me is quite honestly a bad excuse. This whole rentry blacklist was quite literally over a url, given there being a whole section about it. I claimed Joey's url, and if you are not familiar with him, let me enlighten you.
https://files.catbox.moe/awpbv5.png , https://files.catbox.moe/mmip48.png , https://files.catbox.moe/c4zid1.png , https://files.catbox.moe/k9exoa.png , https://files.catbox.moe/m4ervw.png , https://files.catbox.moe/cjrzxo.png , https://files.catbox.moe/fh8kkr.png , https://files.catbox.moe/k6rs1d.png , https://files.catbox.moe/9tce4c.webp . All of these are disgusting things Joey has said towards me or about me, He stated I accused him of sending me r`pe threats, which is something I did do and still do believe. Those threats were extremely oddly timed with how recently I claimed his url, and also the whole situation in general.
I will not excuse my actions, I have apologized all I can, I do believe this situation should've been kept private, because I had no way of knowing discomfort from anyone, and I feel this would've been handled a lot better privately and maturely