I LOVE YOUUU the main thing to understand is that idris and ayato are 1. aromantic & 2. refuse to admit it. theyre both chasing romance for reasons related to their own issues so they keep interpreting all the adrenaline-filled life threatening moments between them as romance because Is that not what everyone describes romance to be...? ("heart racing"/"cant think of anything but you"/etc)

idris needs this relationship because his masculinity is rooted in him being dominating and patriarchal (especially as crown prince) that if ayato were to leave him it'd be an admission that he is not the man—the future king—he believes himself to be. a dread of emasculation. this control, complete subjugation over what ayato does is synonymous with how much power idris thinks he possesses, bc if he cant even control his lover, how can he lead an entire nation? he's desperate for ayato to never leave him, no matter what condition this romance leaves ayato in. and if ayato is delusional enough to believe he's a god then that's even better for idris bc how exhilarating (validating) would it be to bring a deity to its knees😁!!!

AYATO needs this because he deems himself above humanity. he's the god of the underworld. he indulges idris bc he finds his desires entertaining and sooo small-minded. they're nothing alike, and ayato depends on their dichotomy: he is divine because idris is mortal. as a result, he believes nothing idris does can possibly hurt him. so by this logic he's not allowed to stop finding this romance entertaining bc that would be an admission that maybe he's not as divine as he thinks he is. that a god like him could be affected by something, be made so miserable, by just a man. so he's never going to pull away no matter how gruelling it gets. why would he? it doesn't hurt. hes having fun!!!

they need each other. they love each other but they dont like each other. castration in celverse is shorthand for when you sever what someone believes gives them power. something they believe is so intrinsic to their own existence that they can never be separated from it until the risk makes itself known. one of them always kills the other by the end of the story. modern freudian castration is typically something psychic but wellllllllll maybe the real castration. was the friends we made along the way :)