tokki pals · 6mo
Can you give me your personal opinion? You can be very honest
As soon as the incident with Wooseok broke out, I felt really bad and worried and scared for him, because he is a wonderful and kind person and he didn't deserve what was happening. I sent a message to a friend who I used to tell my things, what was happening in my life and problems in general. So I told him about how sad and worried I was about what happened, I told him what had happened and so on... I told him that I cared because it happened to someone I admire and like... I wanted to vent, you know?
In short, he said that it was silly of me to care about celebrities, he sent me a gif of some random actor drying his tears with money, he said that my life must be wonderful for caring about that, that if I wanted to have empathy for someone, I should have empathy for people who suffer tragedies of losing their homes.
I thought he invalidated my pain, right? Because Wooseok is important in my life and what happened was a significant milestone. Did you think his behavior and what he said were wrong? Shouldn't he have belittled my feelings or was I really overreacting by being worried, scared for a celebrity and was I silly like he said?
hello anon, sorry for the late reply!! hope this isnt too late and that the situation between you and your friend is kinda settled. anyway, here's my two cents for what it's worth- haha i do think about things like that sometimes too. whether fan culture is drawing me in too much that i lose myself in the real world. i think you gotta ask yourself honestly whether youre in too deep into this fandom thing, and whether this is compromising your relationships with your loved ones, taking time away from things that really matter, and affecting your own mental health. you friend may not have used the best way to bring his/her point across but intentions may not be bad. i can only speak for myself though, from what i learnt about myself through these few years of being a fan of various people and kdramas, i think its safe to say that its easy to lose myself in this. it can really feel like a different world altogether, right? we're happy, we have that post-drama / celeb high, and we feel like we are so close to the celeb. however sad to say that we arent, and ive learnt to reframe my thoughts just as a fan. a faraway friend, perhaps, if you like. ill never personally know my faves and they will never know of my existence. but because i still derive happiness from watching their dramas, from being their fan, i can continue to do so but knowing my place - something along those lines? eg. i buy merch but i dont pour all my savings into spending on their stuff. eg. I scream and scream on twitter and have fun chatting about my faves with my fandom friends because it's so fun and nice when you have friends with similar interests, but i dont spend 24/7 thinking about my faves and worrying about their life. i admire and look up to them / their drama characters cos of their good qualities etc, but i dont (i try not to haha) idolize them to the point where i forget what's important in real life. and also not that im invalidating sadness that we feel when there's negative news about our faves- cos it's normal to be down after hearing negativity, but it really shouldnt eat into our lives so intensely and for such a prolonged period. anw anon this is my response to you,, haha i dont know if i'll offend you or not but you asked for honesty and im kinda good at being honest 😂 so yes. only you can answer this question- cos sometimes for some people, there are much much more real problems in life than panicking about celeb's lives (i gotta remind myself that i am a faraway admirer and they are doing their job as an actor/actress/etc etc and bringing joy to me, thats it)!! sorry this is so long but please let me know your thoughts too... sorry if incoherent 🥲
