I have thoughts of suicide / self-harm fairly often and consistently, but not so much to a degree where I want to act on it, it's more like 'I'm not going to hurt / kill myself but that doesn't mean I want to any less', if that makes sense
For me, none of these thoughts come from consuming / creating violent media, but internal issues I have with my mental health
It may be hard to hear but if consuming / creating violent media makes you have thoughts of suicide / self-harm, then it would be better to step away from those subjects for the time being and get help, whether through the professional mental health route like psychotherapy, or reaching out to someone trustworthy that can support you
Give yourself time to self-reflect and process these thoughts and try to figure out why they're happening, and make sure you are in a safe place (physically or otherwise) with safe people in your circle that have your back if / when things get rough
There's plenty of mental health helplines for people from all walks of life available 24/7 if you want it
988 is the US nationwide number, but I don't know what country you're in, though it's just a quick internet search away
Stay safe, whoever you are- I'm rooting for you!