• censor the names of idols and groups when you can! this is to discourage my tweets when i post these answers from being searchable. i'm lenient about ship names and names of media properties. you can censor by using initials (kjd, bbh, jd, bh); numbers (04, 21, 0421); emojis (⚡🦕🐶); asterisks (j*ngd*e, ch*n, e*o); or anything else as long as it is understood 👍.
• i accept drawing suggestions! i am super open to a lot of things... even if it is an exo pair i have never drawn before. i advise that specifics on what you'd like drawn to be tasteful in subject matter... but you can also ask if it is okay !!! seriously!! some nsfw/suggestive stuff is okay. we are all of age right ?! PG17 for the most part.
• otherwise it's a very free space here. you can inquire about my person, my work, meta, opinions, thoughts, critique, concerns... i will try to meet you halfway and in good faith! that is all!

not overstepping :) it'll happen soon i prommy ! although with the pace in which i'm working on my sunbolt fic i'm constantly worried i'm not gonna finish >_< i meant to work on it and other things for june but something happened completely out of my control at the start of the month that made me rlly sad and unmotivated LMFAOOOOOO so idk :''') my ao3 will be revealed in time though. somebody figured it out which is still very funny to me--meaning it's possible! for now i do have one piece here of my very first fic for them, albeit unfinished and will remain unfinished :') password's easy enough! that is what i can give u right now and thank u a lot for ur kind words

i got a list of books i am in the middle of NOT EXHAUSTIVE but ones i've been chipping away at recently are:

• love in amsterdam by nicolas freeling: these are my most recent caps posted... i don't really recommend it tbh i find idrc about the yarns freeling spins, BUT i do like his prose style. i got two of his novels in a 2 for 1 deal at the thrift store lol.
• the nyrb edition of honore de balzac's the human comedy: i haven't posted anything of this one but there are some choice bits from one of them (sarrasine) that i keep forgetting to post~ balzac is a heavily influential writer for one of my favourite film directors (jacques rivette) so i've been led here in a way... i have posted clips of his adaptation of the duchess of langeais WHICH this translation has!!! so i'm excited to get to it. that being said the man who wrote the introduction peter brooks said he hated rivette's take lmfao... well that's the constant divide between film and text ig.
• titus groan by mervyn peake: a really dense gothic novel as gothic novels can be. i've barely dived into this one so my thoughts are still here and there but i think the introduction talked smth of how the gormenghast series is a bit of an eclectic series in general only for like, peculiar ppl who get rlly into its universe. i don't anticipate i will be one of them tbh but we will see
• talking music by william duckworth: this is just a nonfiction i took from the library recently on avant-garde musicians lol. just putting it down bc i AM reading it rn

i can't find it in me to recommend books >_ <) read what ur heart desires~ one of my favourite books is joseph heller's catch-22 . i honestly spend also spend time reading vintage cookbooks if i'm being real with you. some theory and philosophy happens sometimes because i've been reading the infamous semiotext(e) journal polysexuality and also terry eagleton's ideology anddddd there's some bataille via the accursed share ... but again. i can't recommend books in good conscious if i don't know what ur taste is yk

thank u for humouring me!!!!!! i have always been a dy main but ty is a close second still tbh... like my love for dota3 has only shifted to accommodate a new enlightening context you could say... YESSSS WTFFF like jh ACTUALLY having a problem when other ppl lay a hand on dy is crazy 2 me O_O... and also when dy lays a hand on others too? it's fascinating. i think it's even more striking too that as far as jaedoists say, the editors like to clip out interactions between them in videos 9_6 so u get a lot of moments where footage just stops right before jh is about to do something to dy and vice versa.

I WISHHHH i had dreamwidth blogs on hand but i'm surprisingly bereft of knowledge of how kpop meta developed there i do have some friends who've seen stuff around but... i don't think there wouldn't be nc+ yk? so i will maybe let the world know if it's the case. fic recs would be hard to peg down but i definitely have some favourites LOL

one of the greatest repositories of information and meta for jaedo for me personally is this tumblr . this person has literally been analyzing and tracking jaedo since 2018 and i myself still haven't trawled their archive completely... as a disclaimer, the owner doesn't reflect certain opinions i have, because they certainly share opinions i'm not fond of. you will notice for example that they're pro-lucas and that they minimize dy's scandal involving mcdonald's, to which i have complicated feelings on both as well as a nuanced opinion on anything regarding "cancel culture" and celebrity morality. i err on the side of simply not agreeing with them and choosing to engage in the analysis that matters to me... i pick and choose plenty of their reads.

from there i would say some fans operate really good archive accounts on twitter of ship moments: (71x21) [https://twitter.com/71x21], (archivejd) [https://twitter.com/archivejd], (right_dy) [https://twitter.com/right_dy], (tydy_archive) [https://twitter.com/tydy_archive] ... try not to mind that they are strictly top!tae/jae with bottom!dy. kshippers are rlly stringent about it but an account that ships them the other way would capture the same moments i think. there is also (jaedoloops) [https://twitter.com/jaedoloops] and (woehpr) [https://twitter.com/woehPR]. you'll discover your own web of ppl from there!

yesss the thing is this has always been a 0421 place... i started consuming nc+ yaoi first but really had no drive to draw any kind of kpop yaoi until 0421!! then i opened this account. which is why it took so long for me to finally draw jaedo lol... hmmmmm i love djj!!!! i was actually super pessimistic about it at first because the horny vibes of can we go back kind of turned me off but i've come around... they've been peddling the djj trio for a while as a dynamic and conveniently the three of them individually are popular in their own right so it was kind of a grab! it'd be silly not to say jungwoo is just a really good (and he accepts and plays this role well nowadays btw) buffer for jaedo so u get the jaedo with a chaperone in place LOLLLLLLL some cbx parallels yeah? i think a comeback isn't coming any time soon. but even hey mama to blooming days also took like a year in between it's just that they're on a time limit before dy enlists and it's vague where they intend to market djj specifically (cbx tackled the jp market very early and since djj are also very popular members in japan that should work; but an overseas schedule they went to instead was san diego fandomcon?) so like i don't know if they have momentum anymore because nc+ organizing has just been soooo bad since 2021 LMFAO but yes! i'm a cbx warrior and a djj warlock

hmmmmmm for one thing i think 0421 and 7726 bear... certain similarities. tbth... the reason why i'm drawn to them was for a really silly thing though; i was going about absorbing a lot of past 🌱 content in my slop head and i came across some r/s chart dy had drawn out for a jp fanbook iirc... i didn't have much of an opinion i would say of jh at this time i was a bit of a d0ta3 absolutist as MANY were during its peak year in 2020 (conversely, the year known as ja3d0's most pronounced divorce year)

so i was kind of surprised that dy's opinion of jh in this chart (which was 2018 empathy era?) he had simply written that it was a relationship where they made each other laugh a lot... and i was like... ❓❓❓❓. like smth about this was just SO so striking to me as someone who didn't have much of an opinion on jh and then also of jaedo as this mysterious bulwark of a ship in the fandom that i didn't quite understand then (due to their divorce/distance in 2020) so i had written it off as this purely horny ship of making up THEE most about them... from then on i rlly started to dig my heels in. that's when i rlly started paying attention. these two that on camera were very rarely interacting but that dy says is one where they joke around a lot... smth he CONSISTENTLY says as recently as one of the latest jp fanbooks (the detective one)!!! anyway i could somewhat credit the development of my analytical skills to jaedoists. it's their brand of narrative crafting and evidence collecting right down to the slowed down 3 second clips that made me see the pair in a much different light as well as the whole group dynamic of nct.

anyway... like baekchen. it's a dynamic where someone really, very, truly, adores the other. and that person is jaehyun. a lot of jaedoists are valentines (jaehyun fans first and foremost) and i think vals care a ton about jaehyun's emotional state and how he's doing because he's quite open about his feelings--when he's moody or happy, you can immediately tell by his face. i think this was a pretty bombastic revelation on their ends when they noticed a rather consistent pattern of jaehyun... having a lot of specific emotions and approach to doyoung that is just DIFFERENT from anybody else in the group. there is just a WAY jaehyun is with doyoung that is legit different when you pay attention. can be attributed to multiple things: them having predebut schedule as joint hosts for showchamp in 2015, doyoung joining smrookies on the later side compared to the others but being the one who helped taeyong considerably and helped him open his heart again (taeyong's words.) sort of suggests that he also had some kind of effect on jaehyun (but idk what) given the stranger history of jaehyun and taeyong but i digress... so many smrookies pictures where jaehyun and/or taeyong are just like. "look it's doyoung!!". and that puts a read of the whole taedojae dynamic into overdrive for me. it's also baekchenny in the way there is so much documented on jaehyun's jealousy and possessiveness over doyoung it could make ur head spin a bit but what also drives a fascinating question for ME there is like... why?... because baek sort of called dibs on jongdae based off them joining sm together and jongdae also being a singer he holds in tremendous regard. but jaehyun himself is kind of coy about why he's like that about doyoung in contrast to how blatant he is that he feels that way, whatever that way appears to be... it's... hard to read it as anything else but sexual/romantic sometimes. but in a platonic way i guess you can just be weird and possessive about a friend, especially if that friend lowkey ices you out a good bit on camera because he is somewhat "concerned" about how the relationship might be perceived on camera which then makes you even MORE weird and possessive on camera because you are a true romantic full of feelings. but platonically.

• censor the names of idols and groups when you can! this is to discourage my tweets when i post these answers from being searchable. i'm lenient about ship names and names of media properties. you can censor by using initials (kjd, bbh, jd, bh); numbers (04, 21, 0421); emojis (⚡🦕🐶); asterisks (j*ngd*e, ch*n, e*o); or anything else as long as it is understood 👍.
• i accept drawing suggestions! i am super open to a lot of things... even if it is an exo pair i have never drawn before. i advise that specifics on what you'd like drawn to be tasteful in subject matter... but you can also ask if it is okay !!! seriously!! some nsfw/suggestive stuff is okay. we are all of age right ?! PG17 for the most part.
• otherwise it's a very free space here. you can inquire about my person, my work, meta, opinions, thoughts, critique, concerns... i will try to meet you halfway and in good faith! that is all!

BSDFJKSDHFJKSH it's so funny bc i don't rlly watch... a lot of their performances. kpop performances in general! tuning into each one and it being a hobby of sorts. even at my most unemployed i did not do that. no offence obvs cuz ur talking to somebody who spends time drawing them macking instead but i do have some:

• 161101 exo-cbx, the one, m countdown the goat obviously
• 2017, exo, touch it, kbs song festival the jm yaoi was crazy here...
• 130914, exo, nimgwa hamkke, immortal songs2 <- so fucking good i downloaded the mp3 onto my phone
• 141112, exo-k, sabor a mi, music bank am not immune to ks' spanish
• 131224, exo-m, candy (h.o.t.), smtownweek 1021's voices suit gen 1/gen 2 music so much TT_TT they went off here
• 140116, exo-m, mirotic (tvxq), 28th golden disk awards vibes were too real even tho their synchronization was so bad and jd flubs some moves so obviously
• 230714, exo, growl, kbs the seasons idk why the audience and everything... it's just fun and jd ate...
• 2019, exo, gravity, exoplanet 5 I'M NOT A HATER but i prefer this version over the original fsr! idk. audience is just infectious. rent was due etc etc

this is a very big question indeed bc where do i begin... i feel like i have a lot of elaborations of them from various facets so to consolidate them or to distill them as u say is a monumental task!!! from fanworks it's sooooo interesting too because fanworks (including mine ofc) aren't always made first and foremost, with an investment in the dynamic of a relationship in and of itself, but sometimes just a focus on one person or the other. i am culpable of this as someone who ults jd but if u asked me to have a gander of my work i sometimes feel like i tend to portray bbh significantly more. from there i would say--i ult jd and appear to project feelings/thoughts/desires/concerns i have about him using bbh as a proxy almost, which serves to unintentionally centre bh in my work. that's just me though. so more specifically it was very interesting how early b/c fic leaned top!jd and bottom!bh, but that was i think, partly due to bh's surge in popularity post-l*han and the rise of 6104 serving as a bulwark for bottom!bh enthusiasts. we've been significantly more bottom!jd laden lately but as much as i account for how top/bottom dynamics DO reflect a form of character analysis in their own right (for fanworks) i want to be very clear that most preferences i have for things like that rlly boil down to a sexual desire... like i just want to see jd as a uke soz. this isn't a unique stance though because as i said, the top!jd/bottom!bh schism of early 0421 pretty much echoes my sentiment: that ppl wanted to see bh bottom at all costs, lol.

and all of that ramble is to say, even past all of my self-introspection and based on my "meta" as the saying goes, that it's important firstly to recognize that bh adores and loves jd. he loves him and respects him so much as a friend and an artist that this complicates so much on his end rather than jd's--who is more mysterious than ppl realize. jd has this quality where you're not sure if he's aware of something and then it's shocking when he is well aware of "it" (in which "it" genuinely encompasses a LOT of things, lol) but the gag is that whether he himself is aware of it (to which he is, and he isn't, and he is but he isn't) is also ambiguous! schrodinger's awareness? due in part to how understated his presence is and how subtly he pays attention to his surroundings and what he files away in his head consciously and unconsciously... rambled again

so perhaps to sum up: there is an unimaginable depth to like all of the feelings bh has for jd. and then there's a subtle coyness in which, bh is unaware if jd is aware of that depth, and if jd is even aware at all. this mystery has driven bh multiple times to do things to/for/with jd that we know as Epic 0421 Moments... consequently, bh is (rightfully) pinned as the one poisoned by his burdening neuroses while jd's neuroses goes unchecked and unexplored and he's sort of made, in this juxtaposition, as a ditzy airhead type WHICH I LOVE AND IS ALSO TRUE. but jd's neuroses is distinctly a struggle with the self more than the self as it is interpreted by others, while bh's is the opposite :) this is just a primer of sorts. i have ofc a gazillion thoughts. on this. on kpop yaoi