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somebody · 2y

ojou-sama and denpa

those are core chloecore for sure ^_^ but I'm re-answering this because I wanted to actually go in-depth even if it means more sharing than I'd usually like:

female denpa-kei characters definitely speak to me a lot in the alienation from the body as it is perceived by others. also an extent to which I wish I could outwardly be that weird (I always hung out with weird girls, I always liked weird girls in fiction) and that beholden to impulse. I mask a lot, and I don't know how to let go of that. I have trouble letting myself Be, because I was taught that was selfish and that I should be conscious of others to the point of self-annihilation

which leads me to ojou-sama, who depending on the work tend to be either extreme of that, their character arc either starting with them haughty, boastful, and unbearably selfish (izumi from princess nine) or quiet and self-sacrificing to a fault (mugi). it's fun to see a shitty facade crack, or an empty facade be filled with love. in general tho the easy reason to point to for my interest is that I grew up with a weeeeeird relationship to social class. my stepdad was a poor opera singer, while my maternal grandparents hosted senators. my sister and I lived between those houses, and at operas and social events I spent a lot of time either only being there because I was, essentially, the jester's kid; or getting "I remember when you were a baby"d by socialites. backstage and onstage. being alternately invisible and very visible in a mannered social context does weird things to yr brain. the ojou-sama is the girl I was but wasn't allowed to be but also she bullied me at school, uh

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