azul the cerulean. kinda boring. he's fine and his design is fun but i generally don't gravitate towards The Big Guys really.

rosso the crimson. probably the actual coolest member of the tsviets which means she isn't as funny as the others but it does mean i just like her without a hint of irony. she is a ridiculous edgelord but damn she's kinda stylin about it. she absolutely owns her schtick in a way the others don't really.

nero the sable. transparently fujoshibait in a way that final fantasy has never really gone to before or since, nero's constant monologuing about his brother that he is hopelessly in love with is the kind of absurd 2005 problematic yaoi shit that i think is just delightgul.

weiss the immaculate. he looks cool as shit and the "THEY WILL BE STABBED. MURDERED. SHOT. GAROTTED. STRANGLED. POKED. MADE FUN OF. POOPED ON." speech is one of the funniest things in video games.

hojo. it cannot be overstated how funny hojo's role in dirge of cerberus is. everything about him is hysterical. in the flashback story about vincent and his pining for lucrecia, he ultimately plays the role of the guy who is emotionally available but ultimately bad for lucrecia in the kind of YA emo fantasy that vincent perceives, despite him being literally professor hojo. then the circumstances for his return are so ridiculously stupid that you cannot help but laugh. my guy literally put his brain on dropbox. but what really brings it all together is not just the hilarious crosscut fades they do with the big buff goku man that is weiss the immaculate, but the fact that all of this doesn't matter at all. his role in the game is basically nonexistent!!! you could cut him out and nothing would change. he appears, you have one fight with him, then he dies and weiss is back. he is a hysterical plot detour and it is amazing. perfection no notes