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Coward · 1y

Can you go more in depth of your special interest on real people?

Yeah sure. I'm not sure what exactly you mean, like either you're asking about me & my hosts interest in VoidLand, or our love for John Congleton, but I'll elaborate on both because I like rambling about this sorta thing. I'll be using Nina's POV for this.

I don't like to think of the people in my past as real people, I don't enjoy the thought that they are real people who thought what they did was okay. So, I create, I draw, I scribble characters to cope. Characters that are my perception of them, that means that things they do in VoidLand may not be something they would do today, it is simply a fictional character based on them when I knew them. It's not the best coping method, but it's better than the toxic ones alot of people use. It's cringe, but it's safer to have than the immoral coping methods.

Plus, I've technically had it for most of my life. I've always doodled characters based off my friends, siblings, parents back to 2nd grade. I've gone on, and off on the interest, mostly because I get embarrassed of doing such a thing, thinking that my friends judge me. I haven't been majorly hurt this year so I've had alot of time to sit back, and just Think about everything that has happened. Stuff that was unfair, stuff that didn't make sense but yet still happened, and stuff that was just pure selfishness from the person I had trusted the most at the time. So, I make jokes, and draw things related to it, if I'm gonna be thinking about these guys for a while, so why not have fun aswell? Plus, it's been statistically proven that if I think too deeply about a person, or I get too sad, my hallucinations will trigger, and become worse, which is very dangerous for me. So, I try my best to make jokes out of everything, I don't do that to others of course, just myself.

VoidLand used to be very personal to me that I hated people who compared it to other things, or made jokes relating to it, but now, honestly, I appreciate it now. It is an artistic representation of things people have done to me, but it's not necessarily supposed to be taken seriously.

It is a system-wide special interest, which is one of the reasons why I've had it for so long. Every single one of my headmates, dormant, or not, has been hurt by someone to protect me, so I have allowed them to draw, make animatics of, write, and indulge in VoidLand to cope with the memories they keep.

My sp/in has evolved into something relating to the Cycle of Abuse, and that inevitably one day that I will become like those who have wronged me, which has made me create a spin-off of VoidLand with different fictional guys to spin around my head. Maybe I'll talk about them one day, who knows.

It's very complicated to put this type of thing into my thoughts, you should mercy kill me, and open up my brain to learn yourself.
My fixation on John Congleton? ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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