queer, emo and mentally ill ♡
512
anonymous darling · 20d
i hope you know i think about guy best friend on the daily, that fic is majorly underrated. i love how you write sgyu so much and would be first in line to read any new sgyu fic you put out 💞
i’m genuinely so so happy that you let me know. gbf is probably my most treasured fic if we’re being completely honest. i rarely say this but i do also think it’s a little underrated, but i feel like the fact that it isn’t m/m has something to do with that. i am feeling very inspired about sgyu right now, actually, but my life is also in shambles, so i don’t really know when i’ll be writing again. but i love them. i adore them. thank you so much for brightening up my week🤍
al · 1mo
i accidentally send that before finishing help 😭
but to continue. i feel mellow and incredibly disturbed but in your case (the stories), it also ends with contentment with how one of the stories ended.
if i may ask how is flames to ashes taegyu holding up rn? :')
and this is incredibly late because it slipped my mind when i wanted to say it, but happy (really) belated birthday from me! 🤩🎉
haha i’ve almost done that very many times. i do like to end my own stories with a hopeful note nowadays. something to give myself comfort. i used to be more brutal: killing a character at the very end for the sake of it, dark characters that didn’t have a blink of light in them… but i find grey and ambiguous stories more interesting.
ah, flames to ashes taegyu are probably somewhere warm, watching the sunset. i never really spelled out the setting but the story was set in the 19somethings, so they’re older now. they’re alright and really, this time. going to pride every year. married in every way except legally. but they have rings. beomgyu’s hair is long again. taehyun has to wear glasses everyday and beomgyu teases him for it cause he can’t just outright say he finds it hot. still. they’re head over heels. beomgyu doesn’t need the pills anymore. they reconnected with yeonjun. soobin got to meet his kid, finally. beomgyu’s got a few grey hairs and taehyun kisses them every morning. kai called them years ago, apologized, and talked with beomgyu for a long time. he never told taehyun everything they talked about. and that’s fine. beomgyu writes songs. taehyun’s a journalist. they foster kids. mostly queer kids that have been thrown out. they have a girl right now, they’re planning to adopt her. a lot of friends. a lot of warmth. a lot of healing.
you were only exactly a month late. thank you so much, darling🤍
al · 1mo
a bit of a tmi, listening to ethel cain for the first time ever brings me the sort of raw unbridled feelings i felt when i read your works, but especially with 'flames to ashes' and 'firefighter arson'. more closely to 'flames to ashes' who i still hold very dearly to my heart 💔 idk if i have already mentioned it, but reading that and listening to her made my breath stutter like i just wept in the absence of my inability to cry (sigh). the feelings made me feel mellow,
we love a tmi in this house. i actually had one of ethel cain’s songs in my library already “crush”. i don’t recall listening to it, so i did and added some of her other ones, too, and they are haunting - disturbing, in some cases - but raw. honest. i would be interested to know which songs specifically made you think of my stories. thematically “punish” and the line i am punished by love does make me think of flames to ashes. but the even darker songs make me think of firefighter. i don’t know, listening to her is like listening to some of the darker voices that resurface in my head every once in a while.
al · 2mo
hi Harley :') if it's not too much to ask, can I ask for a poem that you think could take one mind's off their ever crowded brain? :') I have run out of my poem book to read atm and isn't in the best condition to look up for more, lest I'd probably cry and morph into a petal. sorry for putting this burden on you. actually feel free to drop any poem that you feel like it, because at least looking them up would be easier than gauging whether I'd love this poem book or not. haha. I feel like they're easy to digest more than reading my hurt/comfort shelf :') thank you so much in advance ❣️
hi, darling. the only poetry books i’ve ever owned are by rupi kaur. i’m not one to remember poems by heart, i’m more of a lyric rememberer myself, but i found one of hers called ‘self-love’ that i think you might like. i don’t know if i subscribe to the loving yourself notion but caring for yourself is important. although petals are pretty, i do hope you won’t morph into one just yet. take a breath, drink some water; if you can, go outside, if you can’t, just look out the window; move your body a little, stretch. your mind will follow. the poem goes:
first / i went for my words / the i can'ts. the i won'ts. the i'm not good enoughs./ i lined them up and shot them dead / then i went for my thoughts / invisible and everywhere / there was no time to gather them one by one / i had to wash them out / i wove a linen cloth out of my hair / soaked it in a bowl of mint and lemon water / carried it in my mouth as i climbed / up my braid to the back of my head / down on my knees i began to wipe my mind clean / it took twenty-one days / my knees bruised but / i did not care / i was not given the breath / in my lungs to choke it out / i would scrub the self-hate off the bone / till it exposed love
hope it’ll help you. much love🤍
anonymous darling · 2mo
https://x.com/nuns20v0/status/1851601863356924012?s=46&t=E3YD5Q4H3vnSSY4PYCgF1A
wanted to share this beauty
anonymous darling · 2mo
was thinking of body worship in the middle of doing my chores, and my mind strayed too far and think about how do one dead dove-ify body worship, and then i thought of you and how suitable? it would be in your style in the most positive way possible. and then of course in extension i remembered killing all the butterflies, and while it isn't stated anywhere, it couuuuld kind of be interpreted as body worship, but as you said in the tag expressed so horribly. sorry if i don't make sense i better end it in here before regretting even sending this :')
ah, this made me miss writing the toxic stuff. i mean if i were to dead dove-ify body worship it’d probably go either really extreme to necrophilia or it’d be non-con vibes. something to think about for sure. i can see what you mean with katb. i just love that you were thinking of body worship while doing your chores, good for you. no regrets here, this was a fun thought experiment!
anonymous darling · 2mo
when are we getting a yeonbin fic from you? they're literally THE duo 😭
anonymous darling · 2mo
hi, i just read one of your tejun fics called lodestar, and i just realized u we’re also the author for the tegyu abt the conversion camp, i just wanted to say that it’s people like you that write things that make me want to curl up and just stare out of a window with life just passing by and thinking. every time u write something, it’s done with justice and i just want you to know how much i absolutely adore you and everything you write. thank you for also writing stories about life and making them so beautiful, tehe i know this is a little silly but ur truly one of the best writers that ive come across!! i couldn’t believe i didn’t follow you (i just did)!! i’m sorry, just reading ur fics made me so 😞😞 i love u 🫶🫶💗💗
that. means so much to me. i do really enjoy writing the difficult, touching stories because it feels worth it. i like the melancholy and the complexity, but i also enjoy finding the beauty in the small things, the bittersweet stuff. i have much more to say about the hard things in life than the easy ones. there’s a satisfaction when a story that actually means something to me manages to touch another person, maybe even bring them to tears. recently i’ve written more stories just for the hell of it, without a deeper meaning, but they don’t matter to me as much. my favorites will always be the ones my heart was in fully. lodestar, flames to ashes, firefighter arson being some. thank you for finding beauty in my stories (and for the follow). i’ll keep your words in mind the next time i’m struggling to write something with meaning. those stories are usually the most frustrating to write, but the most rewarding in the end. thank you, seriously🤍 i’ll think about this for a long time. much love and take care!
anonymous darling · 2mo
https://x.com/romcomgif/status/1844935252529008972 i hate this movie, but especially this gif so much (affectionately) but who do you think as jules kimmy and michael? and maybe george since all of them are men, i guess...
anonymous darling · 2mo
So I saw the author's reveal and the conclusion to this https://retrospring.net/@yeonty/a/113253419568813681 is that my deduction skill is shit. Has been for some times now that I shouldn't have relied on it haha. Well... But anyways if you must know, I've mistaken changes by sourfaith as yours. But also! In my defense, I had two guesses and the 2nd one was indeed the protege. So I'd say I deserve at least half or less a point if you're kind enough, and I'd also like to apologize for misguessing and being overconfident 😔 I will do well by you next time, prommy... Also is it rude to say that I feel like you have always been in your taejun era?
ohhh, but to be fair, i read the first few lines (haven’t gotten to reading the rest yet) and i can see why you thought that. our cadence is a bit similar. i’ll give you half a point for the second guess haha. but don’t worry about it, like i said, i’m more intrigued to just see how people perceive my writing. ‘changes’ seems like a really good story, so i’m honored.
not rude but if you’d been here since 2021, i was definitely all beomjun, yeonbin, yeonkai - not a care for taejun honestly😭 ao3 user thistidalwave changed everything in 2022
anonymous darling · 2mo
are you still working on reposting the soogyu fic?
i wouldn’t say actively working on but the tab is definitely open on my laptop and i might think about it once a week. that is to say, i haven’t abandoned it, i edit it every once in a while, and it will be up again eventually. it’s just… once i get it in my head that i hate a fic i’ve written, it’s really hard to undo. sorry!
anonymous darling · 3mo
I want to come and say that I may or may not already grasp your writing style, and have already guessed a work is yours, but I don't want to embarrass myself by saying the title in the off chance that it isn't ahaha so I'm just going to pat myself in the back if I'm right
Also a not so tmi, tmi. I look up your pseud a lot, that my keyboard have a prediction in hand at the top whenever I simply typed 'rose' hehe
i’m incredibly curious to know whether you got it right and if you didn’t, the most i’d be is entertained (and i’d definitely check the fic out). i’m so interested in finding out how my readers see my writing in a similar sense to how we’ll never truly know what we look like to others because mirrors and pictures aren’t entirely honest. regardless, i hope you enjoy the fic if you end up finding it!
also the keyboard thing is so cute🥹
anonymous darling · 3mo
hi harley! I read your book in yeon and oh my god. it is one of the most beautiful books I've read I could cry at how pretty it is, I love the ending and everything about it. I love reading and authors like you remind me why, thank you so freaking much
al · 3mo
Harley... (holding your face gently and kisses your temple platonically and with so much love)
anonymous darling · 3mo
i would sacrifice my new born for you to write taegyujun
sacrifice??????😭 babe, let’s not go that far. please, i would love to write them one day and i’ll do it without any sacrifices necessary whenever i actually learn how to juggle writing a relationship with three characters. i am struggling much with just two, at the moment. i’m happy to know that you’d enjoy that though🤍