i'll give you the footnotes the best i can:

1) shipping & fanfiction is rpf, aka real person fiction. it has nothing to do with reality & is not intended to
2) therefore what the irl boys do/are is irrelevant to the validity of someone's rpf. this is why people arguing abt whose fic tropes are more "realistic" & any rhetoric that centers "realism" around rpf is nonsense
3) rpf is old as fuck & is nothing new, it has a long history & culture
4) one of the golden rules of rpf is separating your rpf & personal fantasies from the real life person they're projected at
5) the other even golder rule, and the one which the fandom doesn't follow the most, is to KEEP IT CONFINED TO RPF COMMUNITIES, IN PLACES THAT IT CANNOT REACH THE REAL LIFE PEOPLE OR ACCIDENTALLY INFLUENCE BROADER, NON-RPF FAN OR PUBLIC OPINION.
6) this is not unique to rpf, but it's worth mentioning: the don't like, don't read policy.

this is standard user guidelines for most rpf communities, at least in my experience. but fandom as a whole is just ignorant of its own history now. esp on twt.