I ain't never cried once, not even at a funeral
Countin' to infinity, do the undoable
I bite into vitamins when they ain't even chewable
Lookin' in the mirror like "Damn, you's beautiful!"
That's why when I walk in the strip club
And all the strippers start tipping me
I got so many girls they accusin' me of polygamy
I got grandmamas tryna hit me up, all the damn time
Asking me if I can send them nudes through a landline
Can't nobody get ahead of us
I've done so many mothers
Everyone calls me Oedipus
I am very badass
Ladies in line all waitin' to smash
Been badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did
I am very badass
Even in my sleep I'm ready to scrap
I'll throw down with anyone on the street
I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me
That's why I float like a butterfly, sting like chlamydia
They showed me Thor's hammer and said I couldn't pick it up
I said "Nah, I ain't even gonna try man
cause that pathetic hammer ain't worthy enough for my hand." (woo!)
Strong enough to punch a polar bear in the jaw (woo!)
Strong enough to drink peanut butter through a straw (woo!)
Strong enough to get Chick-fil-A on a Sunday
I could probably whoop the whole country!
Can't nobody ever come at me
Cause if a zombie bites me
It becomes one of me
I am very badass
Ladies in line all waitin' to smash
Been badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did
I am very badass
Even in my sleep I'm ready to scrap
I'll throw down with anyone on the street
I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me
This is gangsta shit, cause I'm a gangsta dude
I live a gangsta life, I eat gangsta food
I got gangsta strength in my gangsta veins
And when I step on a lego (ha), it feels pain
(Switch it up!)
And I don't flinch when I eat up these ghost peppers like breath mints
I can't go to a nunnery cause they all end up pregnant
Goku is bowing down to me cause I'm dominant
Guess how many pushups I can do?
All of them!
I am very badass
Ladies in line all waitin' to smash
Been badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did
I am very badass
Even in my sleep I'm ready to scrap
I'll throw down with anyone on the street
And I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me!