My dad is a very harsh person and regularly yells and causes at people very nastily. He's not as bad as he used to be, but he used to be so bad for my entire childhood that he severely fucked me up and I'm still afraid of him, so I'm always tense and on the defense when we're in the same room. I talk to him sometimes, but not a lot, and I'm not nearly as close to him as my mom. My mom was pretty bad when I was growing up too, but not as bad, and I don't remember it as much, and she's changed a lot more than my dad has. My mom and I get along pretty well, though some things about her personality tend to frustrate me. I often have dreams where I get so frustrated with her that I end up yelling at cussing at her. In waking life I'm afraid to express my anger (because I always feel like I'm the one at fault (probably partly because my mom argues about everything like she's infallible when she could be perceived as being in the wrong in even the most minor possible way, and will say anything, whether it's logical or not, to have the last word), and probably also because if I'd ever expressed anger (back) at my father when I was growing up he would have fried my soul), so I guess my anger gets pent up over time.