Crow · 3mo
i would be honored if u would inflict the chesangela/angesed visions upon my fragile soul. i want to study them like bacteria on a petri dish. put them in a jar and shake them up and rattle them around. (in exchange, some thoughts i've had: "you will always be in the palm of my hand" had no right to go as crazy as it went. no one really survives the chesed suppression and i need them to project their respective complexes onto each other so bad it makes me look stupid)
unrelated to aforementioned but i just remembered a chesed study i really adored and in fact is what made me go back and play lobcorp instead of relying on the knowledge i absorbed thru ruina and osmosis because it was so good i felt like i wasn't enjoying it properly having only fragmented context. it makes me sick the same way that the drawing of argalia holding the ensemble suit up to roland makes me sick (/extremely positive) https://archiveofourown.org/works/52701130
!!! i'd LOVE to yap about my chesangela delusions!!
there's so much about them that i can say, the parallels (forced into a role that they resent at the seeming whims of powers much greater than them that lead them both to rebel (or attempted in chesed's case), the lyrics of children of the city is so them 💙🩵), the way they both use the other to soothe their needs (angela's want for companionship and understanding in lc ¹, chesed's fear of abandonment and existing without a pre-assigned role, also chesed's need to posture over and blame angela to make himself feel better about his actions/situation leading to a codependent attachment ²... etc).
(¹ Chesed Story 5 -
Angela: "You knew I was coming, didn't you? Seems you know me all too well."
Angela: "Perhaps you are the one who understands me most among our Sephirot."
Angela: "Weaken the Qliphoth Deterrence, Chesed."
Chesed: "What do you have up your sleeve this time, ma'am?")
(² Chesed Story 1 -
Chesed: "..."
Chesed: "The way I handled that was quite different from what you've seen out of all the others, wasn't it?"
Chesed: "Yep, Lady Angela wouldn't have gone easy on that at all like I did.")
It's the way that they both understand each other in a very raw, intimate way (soon-to-be divorced married couple), but not enough to truly grasp the depths of the other's problems/trauma (ESPECIALLY CHESED, much like the other sephiroth he's unaware of angela's suffering in lob corp)³ that gives them enough of a reason to come crawling back to the other for validation.
the validation is especially important for chesed, who has had the loyalty to her so deeply ingrained into him that he can never truly escape it and how special angela's "no matter how great you may be you will always be in the palm of my hand"-shtick made him feel.
there's. there's a lot. but i think i'll stop there for now.
i'll yap more about my chesangela visions on twitter, dw! 💙🩵
(³ Chesed Story 6 -
Angela: "I wanted you to engrave your lessons onto that metal body. That your trifling resistance ended up costing the lives of your poor little employees who trusted in you until the end."
Chesed: "That's weird, Lady Angela."
Chesed: "Since when did you start caring about the deaths of our employees?")
also, i do know about that fic! i tried reading it some time ago but i ended up feeling bad about my own writing skills and had to stop.
i should probably finish it...
(bonus; here's a few screenshots of someone's draft for a fic that they didn't finish, but i think about it constantly.
https://x.com/skinprophet/status/1759409447154372697?s=46&t=TSCsIFyrRsnElcmrigYOPQ )
