I can ride a bike, I do...own one...it's rusted and the tired are completely flat since I haven't rode it in over a decade. There are probably spiders all over it.

Last time I went mountain biking was a few years ago for the first time and I dislocated my shoulder so I'ma say I'd just buy a road bike and stay on trails. I do kind of want to try mountain biking again...just at a slower pace and maybe not down the rugged mountains of a foreign country like last time.