The story seems to rush through significant events, especially regarding the bomb threat and the mysterious substitute. These moments feel like they should be key plot points but are glossed over too quickly. For instance, when Keith mentions a bomb threat, Conner’s response is waaaay too casual, and no normal person would let a kid go to school under a bomb threat.
The dialogue needs more natural flow. Some of the exchanges feel forced, especially when characters explain things to each other (e.g. Keith's explanation about needing education even when there's a bomb threat). Try reading the dialogue aloud to ensure it sounds like a real conversation.
Characters sometimes repeat each other too much. For example, Conner and Keith both acknowledge the bomb threat but there’s no meaningful progression in the conversation.
You frequently shift between past and present tense, which makes the narrative difficult to follow. For example, “Conner woke up” (past tense) but then “Conner proceeds to get out of bed” (present tense). Stick to one tense consistently.
Some spelling mistakes but those can be corrected.
Many parts of the story rely on telling rather than showing. For instance, instead of stating “Conner felt confused,” show his confusion through his actions or dialogue: maybe he stammers, or his thoughts race.
Over all everything moves way too fast, if sounds more like this is the resume of the 2 chapters rather than the chapters themselves.