Pros: They’re always glad to see you. They adore you no matter what you look like, what you’ve had to do that day, or where you’ve been. They’re happy to listen to your deepest, darkest secrets and you know they will never tell. You know they’d die to protect you. They don’t complain at your choice of music. Just being together is enough. Other people in your life are always glad to see them and strangers sometimes compliment them on their appearance.

Cons: They take up a lot of room on the bed. They lose a lot of hair and it gets everywhere. You have to go out with them in all weathers. Their cold, wet nose can be a bit of a turn off. No sex. Ever.