Definitely a horse. The vet’s bills alone.

Could you imagine if god did exist and was found to be non-binary. What would all those lovely christians with their bigoted hatred and ‘conversion therapy’ do then? They’d have to admit they’d gotten it wrong. Or just quietly sweep it under the carpet and find someone else to hate instead.

Absolute mayhem leading very swiftly to civil war.

Worried I might have spiders/insects/generally hideous things crawling onto me.

Somebody goes missing every 90 seconds in the UK.

I always have nice nails. I do them myself. It takes a while (because I use gel) but I find it therapeutic - and I only have to do them every 3 weeks.

I’d be dancing.
I can honestly say the second coming doesn’t cross my mind very often at all. There again, neither does the first coming.

cheese.

Franz Joseph Kaiserschmarrn. Oh my!

generously seasoned.

Not that I know of. I’m sure that Nigerian Prince is going to arrive any day now! I sent the money months ago…

phone.

Getting arrested and jailed for life doesn’t quite carry the same cachet as ‘going down in a blaze of glory’. No one thinks spending 60 years in jail is cool. All their internet fanboys will be beside themselves with glee right now. They’ve just become an icon. Sad but true.

At the moment, watching multitudes of police trying to get three protestors down from some scaffolding. 14 plus vehicles so far.