Disclaimer: I do not have insomnia and I have never had insomnia.

I would choose sleep-maintenance insomnia in a heartbeat. When I was a preteen, or perhaps in my early teenage years, falling asleep was—excuse my French—an absolute cold-hearted bitch. Finding sleep was at minimum a two hour affair. It involved staring at the television set in my room until one of my parents shuffled out and told me to turn it off. Then it would involve me laying in bed in complete darkness, save for the red light of my bedside clock, and daydream to entertain myself. Honestly, I believe I had such great childhood ideas for writing and drawing because several hours of my nights were spent daydreaming about anything and everything exciting, because my outside world was dark and boring, and I couldn't sleep to escape it.

I don't want to deal with that again. It was awful. I hated it. Bless the day it stopped and I could sleep after just ~30 minutes of keeping my eyes closed.

I'm already a garbage sleeper. Hell, last night I can recall waking up no less than three to four times. I already toss and turn. There are rare nights when I wake up around 4, 5, or 6 and... well... that's it, I'm up. Levi tries his best to cuddle with me and lull me back to sleep with head scratches but it doesn't always work. I'd rather be up earlier and get something done than exist in that fucking colourless limbo of being unable to sleep when you desperately want it.