hi. i haven't been a follower for long, but your posts stumbled upon my timeline multiple times, enough to bring me comfort, enough for me to remember you.

i just need to get this out of my head.

me and my partner brokeup. it was a mere 18 months, 1 year and a half, and yet God I feel so miserable. We broke up on a mutual decision, we both knew intellectually we needed it even though breaking up would destroy us both emotionally. But for some reason it feels like I'm the only one getting hurt. Maybe I'm jealous, maybe I'm envious, but they seem to have some kind of support prepared and I don't. For the last four days I've been crying to myself because I don't have anyone else to open up to. And i know it isn't a competition to see who hurts more but god it'd be nice to know that they're suffering the same way I am. We both agreed we could run to each other still when needed, and I did that. I talked to them whenever I felt I had something to say but now i feel so stupid for doing so. they don't tell me things, it's like im the only one hung up on us. I don't even know where im going with this anymore im just really butthurt. We've known each other for 4 years, we were best friends before we were lovers. They were the only person I could ever run to but now it feels so embarrassing having to run back to them when they don't even do the same to me.

I don't know it's all a mess. I miss them, that's all.