I know it seems like you can't, it might stay like that for a long time, but i promise you will. people come and go, yeah. but as quick as they came into your life and changed it, others may. Sometimes things just don't work out. You loved those people and loved the effect they had on you, but you also have to admit being close to them had started to take a toll on you, you have to learn when to cut ties or back off a bit... I know this all seems like.. pure loss, like there's nothing good about this, and I'm getting really tired of acting like I know how you feel so please take everything I say like just one person's opinion. But, I feel like that experience did something good for you, it let you know that you CAN get out of your shell, you CAN do these things with people you want to do. It might be hard to find a new place to feel as comfortable as you did but I know you'll find it, and your current friends.. well, yeah. maybe they're not the same or what you're currently looking for, but do they have to be? they can support you until you find that. If you try to force it maybe that'll just lead to disappointment...No one is going to pretend to be the cure to your problems, no one SHOULD. But they can make you feel a little better, if you let them.. Those people you used to love oh so much, maybe one day you'll be able to face them again, and not see them with sadness or hatred, but just as.. other people.. strangers..