Hi Connor! I'm sorry you had a rough childhood. Not feeling welcome in your own home is a horrid feeling. As for how to deal with the fear of being hated and people not liking you, if I'm honest, I struggle with that a lot too. I think most people do, even if they don't realize it. There's some comfort in that, if everyone is worried about what others think, then we at least have that in common. But at the root of it all, the best thing I can say about this would be that the thoughts and feelings of others affect you only as much as you let them, barring mental illness and trauma. If people actually don't like you, their actions will say so. But if you pre-worry about it, then you're guaranteed to experience that hatred, even if that person doesn't actually hate you. Worse still, on the small chance that someone has a dislike for you, that pre-worry just makes you experience it twice, once before the person says so, and then again when it actually comes up. I don't have an easy way to avoid that harmful pre-worry, which turns every small thing into a sign of an illusionary bigger problem. But maybe having some perspective on what is causing that feeling can help? Odds are, most people are more interested in their own lives than in taking the time to actively hate you. But that pre-worry makes it feel like it's already happening. Maybe if you can take time to evaluate where that feeling is coming from, whether it is from someone's actions, or if it's from that pre-worry, then hopefully a lot of the feelings of being disliked will be revealed as being hollow and not based in anything. I hope that helps, and that you can get to feeling better! I'm rooting for you!