Anonymous Sender · 11mo
Pft, I see. So you're this kind of person, eh? I had this thought before, that you seemed competitive. But I guess you're really that one of a kind, I didn't expect you to be like this even in things like this lol. It’s quite interesting tho.
By the way, ofc I didn't mention whether you're high maintenance or low maintenance. I just said that someone in a relationship usually prefers quality time, and quality time doesn't necessarily refer to the quantity of time spent with a partner. It's called 'quality' for a reason, right? I also mentioned the preference for quality time over working cause, obviously, you already work. And you surely work hard every day. Someone like you must have your own standards for what you do, not just doing things in a just-so-so way. So when you want to work more and harder, chances are you don't have much else to do. Ofc this is just one of many possibilities. I simply chose what, in my opinion, has a higher probability.
By the way again, I agree with your second point. Of course, an INTJ can be both soft and fierce. I think I've seen a glimpse of your softer side. I’m sorry for your breakup. Are you still struggling with whether 'what you did was right' or 'you went overboard'? I know you didn't ask for this, but, in my opinion, it's okay to set high standards as long as we also know our place. Self-reflection is still essential, right? There are plenty of people on this earth. It's impossible for anyone to meet all your desires 100%, but someone who doesn't care about their flaws while they can still be improved isn't a wise choice for someone you'll spend a long time with. After all, we're humans, not dough that will rise on its own if left alone.
I'll still consider it a compliment, even if it's just cum laude and not magna or summa cum laude. Cheer up, buddy. Your favorite woman just noticed your presence, right? There are still many things waiting for you ahead. No need to rush into giving up on relationships.
I’m too stunned to speak and reciprocate your response with the same length as yours. I’m… too overwhelmed due to the feeling that this is so heartwarming. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
To answer your question about the difficulty I’ve been dealing with, I’m still struggling to stop regretting the past I had with my ex because I was the one who started it all. I didn’t want to say all the form of “loving” I tried to convey were investment, but I couldn’t help myself from thinking as if it was, well, since our breakup felt like hundreds of hands punching my chest that it created a wide hole on it, I keep on thinking what I’d given to her was all worth-for-nothing. Yes, I’m very aware that I will fall in love again deeply and madly, which I did after that, but there’s something which is still not clear enough as to why I tend to do “push-and-pull” to the people who came after that “devastating moment”.
Heh. It ain’t a big deal, nevertheless. The moment I broke up with her, so many glorious things happened to my life. I got invited to participate in an event where a lot of elites gathered from Sabang to Merauke (I saw President Jokowi with my own eyes in formal occasion, although it wasn’t close enough due to the protocols), I passed the comprehensive test for my job as the best participant, I met great people who had light heart and taught me a lot about life, I read a lot of “heavy” books that I now am able to analyze implementations of some public policy as well as enhanced my knowledge and wisdom, and many more.
So, everything is still under my control right now. I somehow feel I can be my true self when I’m not with her because I’ve stopped suppressing my emotions. 😁
As a matter of fact, I thought I was not really a person who fancied words of affirmation, but apparently I just discovered recently that I need one that’s truly felt as if we’ve known each other for ages — one that when I read it, I know the person’s not giving empty and “template” reassurance. And I could vividly feel it as I finished reading this from you. Whoever you are, I hope the universe will always treat you with mercy and bless (doa anak yatim yang dijahatin mulu bakal dijabah, they said.)
