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It seems like your attachment style has answered your confusion about your push and pull tendencies to the people who came after that “devastating moment”. Don't you think so, buddy?
Tell me, how are you so good at analyzing my feelings?
Yes, you’re correct. I’m longing for intimacy so bad, but I’m also a weak fighter. My past relationships (plus how I perceive my own parents’ marriage) were draining to the point I’m now easy to lose the war. It’s barely “the first crack in the glass” and I gave up already. Now you may think I’m a confusing person and I must admit that I’m confusing and it’s not easy to read me.
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