oh, good question! and the anticlimactic answer is no.

buckle up, long answer!

whenever I read something good, whether it be a novel, a fic, a poem, just some drabble online, my first feeling is just awe. I am in awe of what I'm feeling, of how it was conveyed, all of it.

my second feeling is the desire to write. I see something good and thus, I want to make something good. sometimes I really like how a word was used and I'll store it in my mind until I can go dump it somewhere, or I really like how a metaphor was used and I'll tweak it. sometimes it's just the plot, the plot is SO creative that I need to sit down and remix it. basically, when I read something good, I get so hyped that I need to go and start writing.

I'm always 'reading as a writer' but I'm never really 'writing as a reader' if that makes sense. I'm never trying to emulate that quality. someone has written it before. who cares if I can emulate it. but how that influences what I have to offer, oh, that's what I want to figure out. with every word I read, I become a better writer.

I know what it's like to feel the opposite. I used to draw a lot but I fell out of it and became demotivated when that led to me no longer improving.

but here's the thing: if you love something, it doesn't matter how good you are. doesn't matter how creative my plot is or if anyone really wants to read it. it hurts when it's not up to my standards, it hurts to not get reception, but nothing, NOTHING beats the rush of writing for me. doesn't matter if I'm writing a pile of flames that has to be sent to my trash immediately. nothing beats writing for me and reading good quality shit? oh, that only ignites my drive. thanks for the question!