You don't understand anything I said. For one, I never said where your paraphilia came from. I said that they are not suddenly acquired. Go figure, getting a paraphilia as a result of rape is not suddenly acquiring it. But the point that I was focused on is that paraphilias can develop based on the content you choose to consume. As in, regardless of origin, lolicon is making it WORSE.
The point I was making with the toddlercon is that the very fact that you're no longer averse to it proves my point. The further you go into that rabbit hole, the more you're okay with, the more extreme you get. You not knowing/realizing that is either a lack of self-awareness, or a sign that you're projecting when you say I "don't know shit about paraphilias to begin with."
And no, I was not "bitching about my suicide attempts", I was sharing a personal anecdote as an example. Since we're on an inherently dark topic I figured it wouldn't be too vent-y or off theme--I was wrong, I probably should've made a better example. I apologize for that. Either way, you shouldn't be saying that shit to people. You'd think a victim of trauma would be a little more empathetic towards the depressed. I'm alright, but if I wasn't? Jesus christ.

You're dancing around the point. You rely on emotional insults and garnering sympathy because you can't argue a word of what I said. Reality is hard to accept so you just avoid confronting it. That's... Not a good thing. Once again, please, just listen for a second. Reread if you must. Nothing I can say means anything to someone unwilling to receive it, just as me being willing to receive yours means nothing if you're unwilling to explain.