It's not like essays show major commitment. Why do you want a name? Genuinely asking.

And now you're just being inconsistent. Went from "toddlercon is no longer a squick" to "I realized it doesn't matter" then to "it never mattered." Even so, that doesn't change anything I said. Again, reread if you must, but your view on toddlercon changing to anything less negative is the exact problem I was talking about. Regardless of whether it went from "squick to fine" or "fine to attractive", that's still the exact progression I was talking about. I never claimed to know everything about you, but you seem to be dead-set on that assumption. I'm going off of the information I've been given. I say this BECAUSE I don't know you. It goes beyond "I just know" when your own actions already line up with the point I'm making
Art imitates real life. You can acknowledge it as fiction while still knowing it's the image of a child. We're able to understand pixels on a screen as the imitation of an image. Art of a child is still the concept of a child. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't be calling it lolicon in the first place. You do because you can understand what it's meant to imitate.
It's both revolting and morally wrong. Sexualizing minors in front of minors makes them feel unsafe, uncomfortable, and objectified. There's a huge difference between having a kink and projecting it onto others. People with exhibition kinks are not wrong because of their kink, they're wrong when they expose themselves in public. The fact that I need to explain this is a problem in itself. And if you're already willing to sexualize minors, I wouldn't put grooming past you if you continue down this route.
I can't tell you how to cope, but I can tell you that this definitely isn't the way. I don't need to know everything about someone's life to tell them "smoking is unhealthy for you. You need other ways to cope."
I'm tackling the issue that I actually know about. I'm not in your DMs, and as you keep repeating, I do not personally know you. Obviously I would say something if I knew the people harassing you. But I'm not talking about them right now, I'm talking about you. Empathy should not have to be earned. It can be taken away, yes, but it shouldn't immediately have to be earned. And people are much less inclined to want you to suffer when you don't jump to doing and saying horrific things to them. Take that as you will. If not for others, then for yourself.
And do consider the fact that you seem like an actual threat to those around you... I mean, looking in some of these answers, you're an amoral pedophile who weaponizes suicidal tendencies and encourages your partner to cut themselves. Again, I don't know you, I can only assume off of what you've said. But that alone is more than enough to warrant a call to parents or authorities. Obviously not threatening rape or doxxing, but I wouldn't fault anyone for matching your same cruelty in words or trying to alert someone else of your behavior.