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/// small stories about big feelings for weird girls
/// doll progenitor
/// infamous overuser of code comment indicators
512
Any chance your website has an RSS feed? I really like what you write but I don't really go on Twitter anymore
would love to put one together!! main question being, how would you like the individual posts delivered? the way the site is designed, there is no individual url for each post, unless you just want the straight txt file... but that won't play nice with some of the posts that have inset images. hm. would it be weird to just send out a ping every day with the lookup numbers of the new entries? seems a bit goofy, but also kind of cool in a sort of coded message way... let me know what you think!!
have you been rewriting old posts lately? some of your recent stories have felt weirdly familiar to me, like I'd read them before, or at least their basic outline.
any examples? i recently took a sort of pseudosequel approach with the story where a former doll owner kidnaps her "ex" from the person who bought her next, but that was less of a rewrite and more of an alternative ending. can't say i've been doing this intentionally otherwise.
do your stories connect to each other? or are they all completely separate?
excellent question, thank you for asking!! i have a few recurring OCs and plotlines that swim in and out of focus, though most of these are the topics of what i hope will be longform projects in the somewhat near future!! assembling something of an unusual cast page for the site to help people keep track of these. sometimes i use names that overlap entirely by virtue of writing so many one-off stories >< it is my hope that the addition to the site will help sort this out for some.
generally speaking, you can divide my fiction into two categories, with a lot of overlapping lore. the less intense stuff, where dolls are sort of just a strange addition to ordinary everyday life, can be loosely bound up as belonging to the collection of worlds connected by The Seam, a big tear in the sky visible in most worlds that either develop or discover the concept of dolls. soda and ivy belong to these worlds, as well as lophelia and her friend, and a few others.
anything with ridiculous technobabble, or talk of Witches with a capital W as vast cosmic forces and their lesser representations in the material world, likely takes place in the same universe as the Gleaming Crux. abbey, charity, rebene, rosemary and aconitum all obviously belong here, along with their patron Witches, but also just about every cool combat doll i've ever written. dugout and her handler, the cool starlight armory pair, have a whole lot more stories to tell.
there's a mystery third option you'll get to know relatively soon!! a magical girl setting i've been writing up a storm in. doesn't work with any of the existing doll lore, if you can even call mascots dolls in a traditional sense.
whatcha reading lately?
not enough new material!! i've been on kind of a movie kick for the past eight months, which is a lot of fun and very personally enriching but also a little difficult to leech directly into my creative consciousness without a visual art sphere of my own.
if we're talking about text... so much rereading lately, tbh >> took a whack at a full run of the script of my favorite mmo before a major rework. picked my way through the first two routes of tsukihime before the english remake release. made another pass over the best gory fantasy webcomic on the internet just before the story reaches its nearly 15 year climax. starting to notice a pattern here, lol.
before you get worried, there's a stack of real books on my desk!! okay, well, a few of them are comics, but they're very good comics >>
do you pay attention to social media engagement numbers?
mm, i try not to!! these sorts of things aren't very reliable as a means to measure yourself to start with, but twitter has sort of become notoriously unreliable in terms of exposure/metrics.
as far as i know, my stuff is a little less popular than it once was purely in terms of people hitting buttons, in spite of an ostensibly larger reach in terms of followers. i try not to think about it too much beyond that, mostly to avoid placing completely arbitrary significance on the way these things make it or don't. it's really easy to fall into a pit mentally and start comparing the things you make to lower effort posts with high engagement. fortunately, i do what i do for reasons that are not likes!! if you put me at a fork in the road where one sign reads "people pleasing behavior" and the other is marked "sincere self-expression" i'd like to think that i would make the right choice every time >>
to avoid trying to sound Too cool about this: there was definitely a period in the first thousand dolls or so when i would sulk a bit if something i was Very proud of got nearly ignored, but these days... i dunno. it's not uncommon for a piece of fiction i consider to be some of my best work to take several days to pick up 20/30 likes, and any weird comparative thinking after you end up with 37 discrete instances of encouragement seems a bit much. i'm stoked to reach 37 people with one of my strange little stories!!
Thoughts on uploading your longer fiction to the neocities backup?
it's happening!! current queue for stuff to update is some basic styling > a few other tabbed pages (glossary/longer fiction/mystery project) > qol features like faves/sfw filter/body search/etc. just been a while since i got in the guts of it to do much except update the stories themselves!!
Do you consider that some of the people in ES are fetishizing their trauma in a toxic way? Such as the fact that they revel in reliving the pain vs using it as a way to grow?
if you think i haven't considered it, then i'm not sure you're paying attention!! at present i've got... some ~150 stories tagged on the topic of self-sabotage in the recovery process. peep "self-abandonment" on the archives if you're sincerely interested in my thoughts. i've also pretty continuously made a public call to not accessorize these ideas in behavior that amounts to self-harm. it's a major creative/personal anxiety of mine!!
that said, as far as i'm concerned this sort of thing is underprescribed internally and overprescribed externally. it's very easy to look at someone struggling without the context of their experience and decide that their suffering is stubborn and deliberate, and it rarely accomplishes anything to confront someone with this impulse. shame is sort of treated as a universal solution, when more often than not it just sets people way back.
if you really want to help, you have to extend some sort of mutual understanding, and put your back into pulling them up. the average accusation of self-traumatization doesn't really stand up to this, in my experience.
do you have a fursona?
oh!! yes, i do!! she's a ferret with champagne/cinnamon fur patterns!! a dear little piece of pasta. i should post some art...
What is your biggest drive to make your stories? Also thank you so much for all the great words!!
an overactive imagination (more like maladaptive daydreaming) and some seriously backed up emotional faculties, lol. in all sincerity, telling little stories is sort of a side effect of my being alive!! even on hiatus like this, i'm constantly breaking stuff apart internally and rebuilding it with new shapes and faces, though i try to avoid simplistic 1-to-1 retellings. anything and everything might stimulate the story center of my brain, and suddenly i'm helplessly in love with a little scene i Need to write, or some less formed character moment/dialogue exchange.
i spent a long time with barely any outlet for these overflowing thoughts and feelings, barring some forum roleplay as a teenager. once i started moving and making... it's been really hard to turn the faucet back off, even with my body literally screaming at me to stop like this >>
you Could say that my biggest drive is external, since i was unable to escape my own gravity without the outside encouragement i got in response to early dollfic!! i try to stay self-driven as social media gets less stable and more diffuse, though. these stories exist to bear a weight greater than praise.
Hey, bit of a different question but have you/will you ever make your doll fortress mod available anywhere? I'd love to make my own little dollhouse.
oh!! apologies, i missed this one. feel free to DM me on twitter and i'll shoot you my current raws so you can install them!! if you want dollfort on the steam workshop, stay tuned.
Best comfort anime?
hidamari sketch!!!!
Favourite anime? Generally.
hidamari sketch!!
where do you get your inspiration from?
fiction about mechanical girls with modular bodies leveraging their form for like, unhealthy power play and the sorts of BDSM scenes you can only pull off when an arm is something you buy at the corner store. TYPE-MOON, though a lot of visual novels make the cut. healing type slice of life anime. comics. a lot of comics. i probably owe YKK and a handful of webcomics more of my taste than any other medium. also, i was raised by horror movies, so it's probably hard to deny they've got a few fingers in whatever soup simmered into my present tastes. horror in general, though if i use "internet horror" as a point of reference people will draw a bead on my creepypasta backstory and then it's all over for me >> when i say i was raised by scary movies, it's probably more fair to say that /x/ took charge of my upbringing. yeah. not recommended.
oh yeah!! i sort of realized a few weeks ago after watching it again with a friend that i owe way more than i'd think to steven universe of all things?? my dolls are uh, uncomfortably close, what with the crystal cores that define a body around it, and the being built for one purpose to serve a horrifying universe-spanning empire, and uhhhh, the Witches in charge??? that one was kind of sobering, haha.
oh, and like, a heaping helping of my own past i guess, but i feel like that one goes without saying.
re: backlog story
Is the question "do you keep?" asking in a polite and subtle way if one keeps dolls? (something like asking if one is a "friend of dorothy?")
less polite and subtle, more deliberate truncation/slang. sometimes i do stuff like this to cut characters on twitter, but that one was on purpose to try to keep the word "doll" from recurring too many times in one sentence.
i ended up liking it!! if Craft reads as short for witchcraft, then Keeping has a nice and obvious complement in this world.
(also if you ever have any questions about the buffer feel free to comment on patreon, send me a DM there, or try on twitter even. not put out to receive one here, just figured you should know the options exist!!)
is there a place for unwanted dolls? almost like a shelter, or a home for them? be it because something happened to who had them before or it being a deliberate choice?
there are certainly shelters and rebuilds dotting the surface of CIRCE, but their relationship to discarded dolls is almost always more opportunistic than helpful. separated from a reliable source of power or repairs, still incapable of handling currency, most ownerless dolls represent little more than a pliable, desperate "fixer-upper" case to the interests of traveler-run operations. they get refactored or reinforced, then put back to work with a new purpose, now an asset to some corporation instead of an Apsis proper.
these are the rules to the game we were left with, and they aren't changing an inch while the world remains a shadow cast by its only coven.
bright thorns, as a movement, was born to tear the pen from their hands.
ever shining in their sides.
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