i know you're doing the best you can. i hope even in the midst of every difficulty or chaos you're committing yourself to be more gantle with yourself. Remember that life can get so dark and you can feel so lost but also remember it can get better. Nothing is forever. Just keep going because things change and time heals. Your feeling are valid and real, dont let anybody denounce them. These feelings doesnt make you weak but they make you stronger. When you're not feeling good enough, just try your best to remind yourself how far you have come. I hope things are changing for you and you're starting to see the purpose in all that you've been through