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hey I hope you're hanging in there!! I'm just kinda curious pls answer at your own discretion, but do u have a job or are you a student? I know you're an adult (well, if you're not, that would be not good, so I'll assume you are) so I was just wondering!
HELLO thank u i am !!!! also i love to drop my own lore all the time dw at all if a question is too much i wont answer it but u can always ask i really dont mind ( ̄y▽, ̄)╭
i actually went to law school for a year and then dropped out ! told myself id go back but as we can all see , that never happened !! good thing tho , i doubt i wudve been a good attorney .. minds too full of Yaoi nowadays ..
work wise ive been steadily working since i turned 18 !! i had a lil part time job before that , but i did work for years and years afterwards !!! i worked customer support , i did a small sales gig , i even worked online as a streamer for a while !! (got partner and all .. heh ..) i quit my big boy job at the end of 2019 , right before xmas .. i was starting to feel the ramifications of Unmedicated Depression and work only made it worse , but i thot id take a break and go back to the workforce in a few months .. obviously the pandemic changed that
i tried working again towards the end of 2020 , it was a work from home job that .. to be honest .. it brought me to the edge LMFAO like literally . if u know what i mean . lots of stuff happened back then , even my mom got involved .. and then i said .. alright .. im not ready for this type of thing yet , ill just take it easy . im very fortunate in that my mom really Wants me here , at home , so i dont feel any pressure to move out (although i did move out for a year when i turned 18 , but that was more dramatic than normal i thinkfdgkjfd) .. im supported by her in many ways , though i do tend to pay for certain bills and household stuff when i have the money !!
most of my work since 2021 has been art commissions .. they dont happen frequently, as i am also quite slow , and maybe not The Best at it .. but its something that gives me way less stress than a Real Job TM would ..
thru the years i kept thinking to myself , ah , i really need to get normal soon , i cant keep going on like this . people work through worse things .. and hten .. things would happen in my life , id lose a loved one and all i wud think about is how lucky i was to not have a job so that i didnt need to Present to work while grieving .. this happened for two years in a row .. i think it really skewed my view of .. what i can do in the workforce , the type of stress i can take .. i think if i lived in a better country , id prolly be on disability .. but where i live its practically useless to do so , the money they give u is not worth the sheer effort it takes to go thru all that bureucracy .
anyway so thats where i am , thats my situation .. i think a lot of people would think of me as weak , or lazy , but i hope u guys know that i have tried many times before , and i will continue to try as soon as i get stronger .. im finally taking some steps to become someone who can withstand hardship , physically and metnally, but the process is slow and i sometimes fall back on old habits .. its very slow .. but it does exist and that brings me some joy :-)
so if u are in a situation like mine , where work feels impossible , where normal life feels alien and uncomfortable , my advice is to take things slowly , to move at ur own pace in whatever way u can , if the circumstances allow it , take breaks and allow urself time .. its all u have after all
kisses u .. this turned very emotional sorry . didnt mean 2 sound gay ont he timeline
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