Unidentified Light · 11mo
I miss you too, and it is a terrible one. This week has been so dull that I can’t even bring myself to acknowledge my own feelings— You can decide it for me, my feelings, everything. It’s as if I’m drawn to the idea of being the perfect fit for your ideal type of person. Just like how I wish I could cease those stressful days for you, and replace them with a week full of laughter where you will find me staring at you while you finish another WIP, or sitting in the kitchen corner, admiring your delicate crafting of another ‘bola susu’ that you like. At that time, too, i’d be gazing at you, simply because I prefer to savor sweetness with my eyes more than with anything. Don’t you think perhaps, there is some truth to the old saying ‘you are what you eat’? Because you truly embody that.
So, you are also somebody who lives more in your head than in your home? I’m really sorry I led you into thinking that would be the case of my absence. I was busy making the most of you, spinning out of control with you— just like the song you sent me. The words I hadn’t sent you terrified me too. And the fact I couldn’t look away that I have seen you scared me a little. You see, I’m insane even to myself. Never did I thought I’d be so head over heels for someone —despite of only being a silent watcher like this— after a very long time. Now that I let you know what I feel and what I want, do you think I stand a chance to lose my interest in you, Bintang?
You don’t have to worry about being the selfish one here; i’m also thinking of showing up in near time, which, in itself, is a selfish move. It means making you deal with someone you know very little about: me. I hope you can tolerate this selfishness and decide what time you want me to show up. Everything you decide will be a perfect moment for me and I’ll be there.
And also, don’t worry about your reply being too long. I have all the time in the world to read them like this. Hope it does apply to you too.
Instead of deciding for you, I want to pick a star and hand it to you. As it twinkles before your eyes, you can make a wish and I'll make one for you, too. I wish it will grant you a world that's joyful and maybe a little bit kinder. The moon that surrounded by warmth, love and the stars; sounds to be the most fitting idea of you that I could think of.
And how do I make them come true? To be watched by sincere eyes, my heart is fluttering by just imagining it.. Even if I have to redo all of them; to start another drawing, to make more 'bola susu', but this time with your gaze fixed on me? I wouldn't mind going through all of those activities again. Well, perhaps that old saying are still being mentioned by people every now and then for a reason ... for its accuracy, maybe? :p Ah, I'm going crazy really. How can someone be so sweet and good to me? Did I save a whole nation on my previous life? What did I ever do to deserve you, dear moon?
Mm, yes, I could say that I'm a bit of an overthinker too. But that's not entirely your fault, it just can't be helped sometimes; to have those thoughts. At least you're here now, and I couldn't ask for more.
... which is not entirely true, beacuse I really want more. Let's get insane together, then? I don't even know your name, yet I have this guts to trust you. I mean, trust is a strong word, can also be dangerous sometimes. But I (( want )) to trust you, to see you, to learn about you.
So, if you haven't go to dreamland yet, would you mind to appear on my DM when it hits zero o'clock? In WIB, incase you're not sure. Only if you're ready of course.. it's okay if you still need more time, we can take it slow. I'm fine with anything.
Needless to say, I will always spare my time to read your messages too, no matter how short or long. I'll be waiting for you, moon! ☾ ๋࣭ ⭑
