hu tao lied to so many characters about the possible outcome and the only person she was entirely honest with was zhongli. … — they have such a wonderful, deep dynamic and i’m tired of seeing people gloss over that in favor of saying “omg dad and her … https://retrospring.net/@byakuyakoku/a/113907527388314118

you're right I shouldn't have phrased it like she "lied", but I'm quite sure she was convinced she was going to die more than the possibility of her living. after all, it was a rule set in stone within the ley lines and she knows the ley lines all too well. her mannerisms with her friends are not hiding for the sake of not worrying them imo, its more like there's an ideal that drives her and any opposition to that may bring back thoughts of wordly attachments. again - her presence is so fleeting in liyue harbor with her friends, she flits from one place to another and she's elusive. because even if its for cleansing small fetor leaks she's always had to maintain an outlook where she had to love things around her without growing attached, and any person possibly telling her not to go, even such a simple thing, could make even the strongest minds waver. not that she would necessarily waver, she has mental resilience that you just don't see in other characters.
And my above point is also why I think zhongli did not tell her not to go, or to rethink her choice or anything. there's respect between them as equals, respect for them as integral figures within liyue harbor. hu tao's friends didn't know the details of the type of work she does, only zhongli does. and their relationship goes beyond just work - he is the one she trusts the most. the conversation starts at a point that clearly suggests that hu tao had spoken about the matter to him beforehand. its that level of consciousness and cognizance of everything that drives her, from duties as gatekeeper to just her as an individual that allows him more than anyone to provide the support and type of love that she needs. not that the other people in her life aren't as important. its just different when its these two