he's so in denial that he's a size queen but every time zhongli walks out of the bedroom in his pyjama pants/house robe or anything that isn't his usual trousers childe will NOT be hearing a single word he says. pausing in the middle of reading to just stare at the outline of zhongli's dick as he walks around. he is not hearing a single word zhongli is saying until zhongli literally stands in front of him and snaps his fingers. grabs a pillow to hold in front of himself bc he KNOWS what childe is so distracted by. he tries to insist he's being normal about it "what?? i'm not obsessed! it's normal to... think about your partner's uh....assets. often. yeah." meanwhile he is behind on his workload with the bank bc he keeps just staring at the wall thinking abt zhongli's dick all day