hiiiiii long time xrafstar enjoy first time question asker… i recently read the book ‘a little life’ because some people said it was ‘devestating’ and i’m down for a bit of suffering, but i ended up rlly hating it viscerally and i’m not sure why, especially since your work also burrows into the niche of like, torture, except your stuff infuses me with life energy. idk if you know of it, just been salivating for your Thoughts on this. lol. i hope you are having a good day ~
Thank you, I am having a good day building the next torture lineup <3
It depends on the suffering you're looking for. My stories have pain and realism but also, yes, restless with life, and I'm gratified you can taste it. I look for what grows from the shit. My own life has been full of terminality, waste, tragedy, ugliness, humiliation, hopelessness, mindbreak, hollowed out, emptiness, barrenness, starvation. Years and decades that went nowhere.
But I'm also a disgusting romantic. My books are the result of a very specific synthesis of aesthetics and desires. I try to earn every piece of beauty I carve out. They are romantic songs made of realistic materials. Realpulp. Because real life is absurd and pulpy at times, and sometimes it is bleak without end and people get completely fucked. I am the type of person who was meant to live such "a little life", but has circled the drain with some small share of freak warmth. I don't blame people for the colors they see. Both are real. I am grateful that, for now, I am allowed the warmth by which I can write about love.
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