I find it funny that I am the recipient of this question because I literally found my girlfriend on AO3 during a time when I had no intention of finding anyone. I got super lucky tbh but I’m also of the opinion that (with anything in life), we make our own luck.

That in mind, I think finding a serious partner you truly “click” with is a combination of luck and putting yourself out there. Pursue interests you’re passionate about and you’ll likely make friends with those who share them. You can’t control whether you meet the right person at the right time, but you can set yourself up for success by enthusiastically pursuing what interests you and making deep, genuine connections with those around you that enjoy those things.

It’s my opinion that lesbian and bi women are at an advantage when seeking a serious female partner because in male/female couples, it’s kinda of implied that a man and a woman trying to grow closer are making an attempt to become boyfriend and girlfriend. With women though, it can be a bit more ambiguous—does she want to be my friend, or does she want to be my girlfriend? This is good imo because it doesn’t put unnecessary pressure on the two people involved to “make a relationship work” and allows for more time spent truly getting to know each other as friends. However, it can also be tougher down the line when trying to figure out whether they like you as “just a friend” or “more” (ask me how I know 😅). Absolutely worth it for a deeper and more meaningful relationship, though 💖

I feel uniquely under-qualified to answer this question but I hope I helped at least a bit. It does come down to luck somewhat, but I think it’s much more useful to just go about authentically living your life and making friends, rather than deliberately seeking out a girlfriend on, say, a dating app. I’m demisexual, so I especially have that need for a very strong emotional connection before any attraction, but I think this advice works for anyone who wants a serious partner who loves and supports them unconditionally. I have that and then some, and it was absolutely worth the wait 🥰