yes! yes! he's so sure of his faith, but i think he's afraid of others perceiving him as not devout enough. in a previous ask i said this may be due to fae heritage, but tbh there could be other reasons if the church isn't just fantasy racist.

sebek is somewhat oblivious to his own appearance, slicking his hair back more for convenience than looks. if he's deep enough into nunhood, like a cloistered nun, there's a chance he doesn't even have mirrors. so if somebody were to go out of their way to talk about his body, how it's a vehicle for sin no matter how he tries to cover it, that his chest and his legs and his lips are all temptations, he'd be kinda terrified but also obsessed with being seen, jerking off in the dead of night in a communal bathroom and feeling himself in ways he never has before, experimenting as best as he can because now he wonders just how much he doesn't know. and he'd be a liar if he said he didn't understand now, how people can fall to temptation. the possibility that it feels even better with someone else never leaves his mind, either. and he finds himself more aware of the way other priests and nuns look--sister silver's pale elegant neck (what would it look like with his teeth in it?), sister riddle's tiny pout and tiny hands (is everything about him that tiny? could his hands even fit around sebek's cock?)--and hating himself for it. he dreads confession, not knowing how to lie about all this new awareness and the ways he's sinned. he'd rather carve his eye out old testament style.

might be a minute before he caves and fucks somebody. or has to get fucked. unless he gets some supernatural visitors who aren't interested in the speed at which he'd like to experience this sexual awakening.