I DIDN'T MEAN TO QUASH YOUR DREAMS I'M SO SORRY i just... the thing that gets me off the most is a convoluted narrative and lore to justify my silly kink.

jade is soooooo "when there's a will, there's a way," so he'll figure out how to do it! it'll hurt a lot for the recipient, but that's perfectly fine by him. and he'll be pleasantly surprised (and impressed) if they manage to take it without passing out! what an intriguing human specimen! he'll have to try bigger and bigger insertions to see what finally makes them break.

i can also see him being the asshole who puts something fragile up there for the fear factor. let's hope he enchanted it to be more durable without telling them. mind games are sexy, too. crying and begging him not to do it, ESPECIALLY not to get into the cervix, it'll break, they'll die... they don't want whatever might be in that item (i keep thinking bottles) in their womb! delicious delicious tears. 💜💜💜💜

HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT EGGS LMAAAAAOOOO oopsies. 😅 i got way too excited about potential medical kink and blew past the obvious answer.

this raises a bunch of questions about how fertilization and his genitalia work tho! and that would extend to merpeople in general, probably. i wish i could think about ovi without getting hung up on the biological technicalities. or are they dud eggs for funsies? why does jade produce eggs? why am i asking questions when i am the one with the retro open?

that all being said, eggs hot, and if he doesn't leave enough to make an obvious bulge then CLEARLY he isn't excited enough and you gotta wring more outta him!!

HELLO WOMB PENETRATION ANON

so obvi this isn't something you can really do which means that either Jade is basically inserting an IUD or there's some magic going on here.

the first one is like...... XXX-treme sounding with a side of medical kink. and i think he'd be into it because it's elaborate and keeps his partner tense the entire time. he wants to do dangerous things that entirely rely on his partner's trust in him. is he even gonna warm the damn speculum for them? and just WHAT is he trying to put up there? although now that i think about it, i'm rly interested in jade and iud removal (consensual or not, both good). his partner doesn't need silly things like that! he wants to see them in all their natural :))))))) fertile :)))))))) beauty :)))))) but may as well take some time to play around while he's there, no? he can't waste this opportunity to examine them, not when he's got them splayed out like a dead butterfly for him. 😍

as for magic... CHRIST i can envision it but all i can think is "arr eye pee your uterus." probably feels hella tight, maybe not as soft as their cunt, but it's the principle of the matter. this also implies jade, at least for the moment, has an ultra long dick...... it's an eel on an eel.

yes!! i think he'd have some hangups about lactating--it's "not normal" for men, if he's not careful he can leak at an inconvenient time, has to keep his tits covered because expressing himself can leave bruises, and frankly his tits just HURT. ALL THE TIME. he'd prefer to get his milk from another person if possible. but if he's lactating? he may as well make the best of it.

he starts out with some recipes he finds online (and finds that it's much easier to find cookies to help aid with lactation than cookies that use breast milk--i know this one from my own googling, sigh), but as he becomes more familiar with the taste (it's not quite like cow's milk, it's lighter and sweeter iirc) and how it interacts with other ingredients, he could branch out. he might be able to run a hush-hush (because idk selling your own titty milk baked goods passes health protocols n shit) specialty business if he let people know just WHY his baked goods are even more delicious than usual.

i think he'd develop a fixation on watching people unknowingly eat things made with his milk, especially riddle (maybe even ace and deuce if you wanna get real big brother about it, and i'm also thinking about him insisting idia's skeletal ass needs fattened up some), to the point where he's a little more forceful about having people eat his food. growing boys need their nutrition!! it would likely upgrade to him becoming curious about breastfeeding directly. again, he has hangups, but i think horny brain often gets the better of him in the end.

if he does this while living in his own, he'd probably use pumps (at least sometimes) so he doesn't have to do it all by hand, but he's hesitant to order something like that to nrc.

yes! yes! he's so sure of his faith, but i think he's afraid of others perceiving him as not devout enough. in a previous ask i said this may be due to fae heritage, but tbh there could be other reasons if the church isn't just fantasy racist.

sebek is somewhat oblivious to his own appearance, slicking his hair back more for convenience than looks. if he's deep enough into nunhood, like a cloistered nun, there's a chance he doesn't even have mirrors. so if somebody were to go out of their way to talk about his body, how it's a vehicle for sin no matter how he tries to cover it, that his chest and his legs and his lips are all temptations, he'd be kinda terrified but also obsessed with being seen, jerking off in the dead of night in a communal bathroom and feeling himself in ways he never has before, experimenting as best as he can because now he wonders just how much he doesn't know. and he'd be a liar if he said he didn't understand now, how people can fall to temptation. the possibility that it feels even better with someone else never leaves his mind, either. and he finds himself more aware of the way other priests and nuns look--sister silver's pale elegant neck (what would it look like with his teeth in it?), sister riddle's tiny pout and tiny hands (is everything about him that tiny? could his hands even fit around sebek's cock?)--and hating himself for it. he dreads confession, not knowing how to lie about all this new awareness and the ways he's sinned. he'd rather carve his eye out old testament style.

might be a minute before he caves and fucks somebody. or has to get fucked. unless he gets some supernatural visitors who aren't interested in the speed at which he'd like to experience this sexual awakening.

and then i FUCKING FORGOT TO CHECK MY RETROSPRING

i've gone down the sebek priest rabbit hole before because i think it's funny to imagine him in confession with another priest over the damnedest things (stared at the toes on the statue of their holy lord for too long) but nun bekky is BLESSED. i'm contemplating if, in this sort of au, he is looked upon with suspicion by certain folks as a fae attempting to live, essentially, in chaste marriage with god (or whoever you're picking that uses the same practices and aesthetics as irl catholicism). that identity uncertainty and need to prove himself fuels him now as it does in canon. perhaps a need to prove that fae and other magically attuned creatures can also live holy lives? he still sees fae as superior, but he also can't really use his fae predisposition to magic in the monastery. feels perhaps oxymoronic?

he is loud and pious, but no one can call him performative. he's putting his whole crocussy into it and may even aspire to become a cloistered nun who spends all time in prayer and worship. but even if it's his dream, it's not really what he's suited to, since cloistered nuns also spend so much time in silence! he sets aside time to practice, but he's prone to distraction during these periods. a perfect time for demons to come see him.

i kinda like the idea of him (and perhaps also silver) in the same monastery as priest rollo, both/all influenced by visits from the demon malleus. tempting sebek with what he could become alongside malleus. and in my quick googling i found out that some papals lack mirrors (they're distraction), so sebek with a lessened awareness of what he looks like and what is perceived as sexual--having things like his large chest, strong thighs, strong brow, sharp teeth--all complimented, all touched for the first time, by something much older and more powerful than him that still claims to want him close by, to want to see him grow powerful rather than small and silent. he's special! chosen! he is no longer a nun who must silently dedicate herself and never stick out amongst other nuns, he! is! chosen! it's overwhelming, and hard to fight the temptation to go join a demon cult.

i'm sorry, i think this was supposed to be really horny, but i can't get off without a really convoluted narrative. 😭 come back in my box and i will throw you more things and i can make them hornier. build with me, anon! 💚

that might be part of it! i feel like i haven't seen as much ovi art as i initially expected considering we have all these fish and a big princely lizard. maybe i'm rolling in the wrong spaces, or other fandoms gave me a skewed estimation of how much eggpreg might end up in one male-sexualizing fandom. i've seen a fair amount of discussion about eggpreg, but not about meleanor's.

which is not particularly surprising because people are not coming to the pretty disney boy game for the hot women, but DAMN are we dropping the ball??? there was so much potential for awful painful delicious filth with eliza, too, and last i knew she didn't have a single fic with idia. not even a smidgen of ghostly noncon. which, again, makes sense, but it definitely makes me feel like i've been slacking in my duty as a pervert who just wants to see women happy lmao.