it's not stupid at all!! gidakata is my old ao3 acc! she's still up, i'm just not active on it anymore (i even added "i've moved accounts!" on the acc profile!). there was an original reason i switched accounts, but it ended up not really mattering lol. on top of that- i felt like i had fucked around on my ao3 too much, constantly deleting stories, orphaning/anonymizing them etc to the point where people just expected me to delete my works within the month lol... and while i grew a lot on that acc i will never be unthankful for it, it stressed me out too much to keep going. 2024 has been ridiculously hard, i need my hobby to be something i still enjoy, ykwim?

im really trying hard to be not such an insane perfectionist nowadays. i think that's most important. at some point i had between 60-100 fics uploaded and i proceeded to purge more than half of it so my acc would always have around 20 fics (idk why this number). i couldn't upload for other fandoms, the way the fandoms were listed bothered me too much. there were so many fics i wanted to take down, but didn't, because moots and other ppl loved them- and it bothered me so much i would try to drown them out w more fics (that i ended up not liking, circling back to the beginning of this paragraph). overall i'm happier now, when i'm stressed i'm able to not take it out on my ao3.