I'm going to recommend some books that I strongly recommend you read, even if a little bit at a time. you can use these books to educate yourself on some of the things that you would learn in therapy and will go a very long way in understanding and recovering alongside your system. the links I am giving you are to free online versions. if you do nothing else, please consider exploring those two resources so you've got a good baseline of dissociation and how to help yourself deal with these things. you do not have to exist eternally in a state of confusion or not understanding how to approach things - you deserve autonomy to improve your life and the information needed to make that autonomy a reality.

Healing The Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors is incredibly useful. if you read nothing else I ask you to read that. it's like a guidebook for anyone who’s ever felt like their trauma has split them apart inside. I really like the compassionate, science-backed approach to understanding how trauma and dissociation impact us on a neurological and emotional level - it's not too clinical - enough authority and confidence to help you trust what's being said, and enough care to know it's coming from a good place. what makes this book so compelling is that it doesn’t just explain the "why"—it gives practical tools for working with those fragmented parts of ourselves.

coping with trauma-related dissociation is also really good for anyone navigating the complexities of dissociation. it’s designed to be super practical - like a skills manual to help build stability and understanding within someone who experiences dissociation. the book is primarily tailored for complex trauma survivors, especially those with DID or related dissociative disorders, but I like that it's not 100% exclusive to DID