is not telling someone you have, say, irritable bowel syndrome a "secret"? probably not. same with, like, not broadcasting every detail of your trauma. these are deeply personal things, and not sharing them doesn’t mean you’re being deceptive. it’s about having boundaries and knowing who deserves that level of vulnerability.

there’s this cultural pressure, especially online, to be your "whole" self in a public way to justify how you exist. but honestly? you’re allowed to have private parts of your life that only come up when you feel safe. systems are complex, and having dissociation, rare switching, or even being unsure about all this doesn’t invalidate your experience. janina’s book on fragmented selves talks about how systems often emerge from trauma adaptations in ways that attempt to create safety​. the way your system interacts with fronting, distress, and switching sounds like it fits within that spectrum, even if it feels different from some of the stories you see online.

as for your partner - you’re not lying to them by not sharing everything right away. relationships thrive on mutual care, not on over-disclosure.

finally, just a little perspective: you’re not obligated to share until you feel it aligns with your needs, not just your values about honesty.