i’ve been laughing at the stinky smell since i saw the message in my asks & i still cannot be normal about it bc imagine telling that to alhaitham’s face PLEASE i’d feel so violated. ANYWAYS, it makes me happy that there are people who feel strongly about this hc. it means so, so much to me itself. this is not only because it just fits for kaveh to be trans—this is also about the fact he’s a type of consolation that you do not need to be hypermasculine for pass. & i adore this a lot. i’ve been seeing a lot of people being critical about it but honestly, i cannot see how you’ll bring down one hc to elevate your own personal preference. transmale kaveh is so wonderful, so beautiful & gives one such warmth when you think about it too; adding that we also have such subtleties like his constellation being a huma bird with both male & female traits; or that he wears clothing that will emphasise his beauty. there is that other that always made me sad where people treated the hc as one of the options, & as much as i agree it’s an incredible way to portray more possibilities & give them more representation, i still craved for more hkv accounts where is strictly seen as a transman. so here i am!!! the fact we also have sam (@AlienDeck9) that shares such lovely artworks with this specific hc makes me so happy. i was FIGHTING to have an artist like this for two YEARS. that’s a blessing.

i have not BUT the more i hear about danmeis in general, the more it tempts me to actually give them a chance… you see, i have a hard time enjoying lots of yaoi/bls & i sincerely cannot get myself into reading ANY mlm manhwas because of the trope-y character of them (for some reason it always feels like the these little guys’ only personalities are if they’re either a golden retriever sunshine top or a black cat bottom, if you know what i mean; there is nothing bad in it but i cannot lie, i personally NEED passion to care about the story, even if it’s mainly erotic) but (especially danmeis) seem to truly have the type of depth (& horny) i specifically require to get attached to its characters. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THIS IS ANOTHER GUY THAT I HEAR BEING A LOT LIKE ALHAITHAM IN TERMS OF OBSESSIVENESS TOWARDS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. alhaitham just straight up should found an i-love-my-wifey club where he talks about wives with other pathetic husbands fr.

this is indeed a safe space for such opinions because wlw hkv would genuinely be so interesting to execute storytelling-wise as well. i’ve been having this conversation with sam that it’s a shame in most of aus for yuri hkv everything is left unchanged & nothing differentiates them from their male counterparts. let’s not act as if it wouldn’t put them in contrasting circumstances or, at the very least, give them opposite consequences/potential outcomes of the actions that happened throughout hkv lore. the possibilities usually become a wasted opportunity to explore the shifted norm & what is expected of them then (this applies to all genders especially & even sexualities too). THAT BEING SAID, butchfemme hkv is so HOT. butch alhaitham just hits different & i don’t care what anyone else says.

honestly WHY are we not overstimulating kaveh more often? i need him pliant. this is the only place where can forget about all his sorrows & problems. this is where he can relax. this where he doesn’t have to pretend—in alhaitham’s arms. thinking about the implications of dacryphilia as well… because kaveh will not cry in front of anybody; this is where kaveh draws a line. if the tears must fall, it will happen when he’s alone, burst into weeping if anything gets heavy upon his chest in the secrecy of his own room. there will be signs (soft and flushed skin; maybe a tear stopped, in trance of interrupted action like waxed droplets on madonna’s cheeks). he hides his feelings so well when confronted with the world that keeps putting him to the proof. not with alhaitham, though. with alhaitham, he will let all that go. he needs it. he deserves it. this is why alhaitham HAS that kink in the first place too. to be the only one to see kaveh like this… oh.

forever loving polish interwar (maria pawlikowska-jasnorzewska, bolesław leśmian, zuzanna ginczanka), war (mostly krzysztof kamil baczyński), post-war poets (here ones who survived the war & it one way or another inflicted upon their art; czesław miłosz, tadeusz różewicz; after that zbigniew herbert, halina poświatowska). i admire & what truly got me to reading poems is russian mastery of it (specifically anna akhmatova, marina cvetaeva, boris pasternak, aleksandr blok, vladimir mayakovsky). something completely obvious might be charles baudelaire’s „les fleurs du mal”. of course, my love grows alongside modern poetry too (if it’s done properly and RAW); anne carson, i would say richard siken but this guy was acting weird on his twitter once, louise glück, ada limon, sam sax.

in the end you shouldn’t be afraid of rebelling against the writing. most of the time what makes it hard to execute the technical writing is the barrier of what you might believe is traditional prose/prose rules. you have to leave them aside & focus on the feeling. of course, for it to sound clear & enjoyable in the final product, you’ll absolutely have to fix some aspects of its grammatical form as going with the flow can carry you a bit away. it’s what i personally often do myself. the first wip will have sentences three-pencils-long with more repetitions than i have freckles. & then i’ll refine it; definitely split them into two three separate sentences too. don’t be afraid to just “yap” in your docs. it’s for you, you’re the only one who’ll see the unfinished version for now. this is helpful especially if english is not your first language & you need to actually use your skills & brain to make it “make sense” before sharing. that sought of it to sound perfect from the start is what stops you from progressing. just free your soul & empty your mind & leave the pictures, scenes, colours, movements, feelings you want to describe there instead. do not think about anything else but the story. worry about the grammar later.

i also write down “keywords” i want to use in specific scenes/sentences. while i am writing “cold war”, i put brackets between some fragments (of the action) where i’ll type what i want to convey, for example: “[coal, the smell of napalm/ashes, mechanical/weapon-like metaphors for the body & its movements during sex, pulling the trigger=relief of cumming]”; it doesn’t have to comprehensive to anybody else but you & it’s an extra support for you bc 1. you always look for more wording/think of other stylistic devices first & then write the rest without freaking out that you might’ve forgotten something as you were preparing the x fragment, 2. forming the scene becomes easier as you basically have an outline for the specific expression—this is how you also work more on your vocabulary! unfortunately i don’t have better advices when it comes to learning more of it than just saying read not only novels but poetry too, listen to music and just looking for synonyms if you feel like you need them.

so feeble, aren’t he? jokes aside, i think we do not talk enough about alhaitham literally risking his own life for the sake if this whole cause. he persuaded everyone to believe it was not a big deal at all too, with that premise of him caring the most about himself. alhaitham most definitely knew he’s able to withstand the pain & fight back anyway, even though he might be at the disadvantage (or maybe he knew he wouldn’t be at all) here. he’s clearly way stronger than anybody gives him credit for but well, it is his little dirty secret & we might never know the truth. maybe it truly was not a big deal, eh? anyway, this man’s built of steel & rock, it seems so. he was still able to knock out two ARMED guards escorting him with his bare hands.